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As a bottom, you’re the receptive partner in bed, but that’s not entirely accurate. Just because you’re receiving doesn’t mean you’re passive. You’ll realize this when you’re riding him as a cowboy and controlling the pace. However, things change when it comes to BDSM, where being a bottom truly refers to being the submissive partner. Today, we’re focusing on how to embrace being a bottom during anal sex. Simply lying there and receiving isn’t enough. There are plenty of exciting tips to make the experience even more erotic for you: Rediscover Bottom Sex!
1. Desire is essential for great bottoming
Being a bottom means taking his penis inside you and letting a top have you. However, just because you’re bisexual or gay doesn’t mean it’s mandatory. There’s still that old cliché that all gay men love anal sex.
Nonsense! Some gay men have never seen a rectum from the inside, and some asses have never hosted a penis. Totally fine! But if you enjoy being a bottom and want to take his cock, desire is your best guide to amazing bottoming. Simply put: Only do it if you’re genuinely into it, and only with someone you’re truly attracted to. Liking anal sex with one person doesn’t mean your door is open to everyone.
Want to bottom? Can’t wait but have little to no experience? Then check out these tips.
2. Proper hygiene is a must
There’s always a chance anal sex could involve a bit of poop. Denying this means ignoring basic human anatomy. That’s our exit point, and turning it into an entry can lead to occasional surprises. Any experienced top knows this and won’t judge you if there’s an incident. Get waterproof bedding or lay down a towel just in case.
This doesn’t mean you’ll leave a massive pile in bed. When we talk about poop, it’s about small traces on a condom or tiny smears on the sheets.
But you can significantly reduce the chances with proper hygiene:
- Use an enema to clean your rectum.
- Wash yourself thoroughly before sex.
- Avoid gassy foods like beans before sex.
An enema is a handy tool. You can use simple shower attachments or standalone kits. But don’t confuse it with a full colonic cleanse—it’s just about cleaning the rectum before anal sex.
3. Stretching is key to being a great bottom
Your sphincter controls your rectum, and if it hasn’t experienced penises, it might resist at first. Stretching can be a big help before your first time. Sure, you could dive right in with no prep, but it might hurt.
Anal plugs or dildos in various sizes are perfect for training. Start small and gradually work your way up. Your sphincter will return to normal after practice but will adjust to some level of stretching. Think of it like going to the bathroom—most bowel movements are pain-free, even though they’re not exactly small. This works in reverse and requires some training.
4. Being a bottom doesn’t mean being passive
Bottoming doesn’t mean kneeling motionless and just taking it. Even as a bottom, you can take an active role, spicing up and even improving your sex life. Bottom sex is no one-way street!
A simple trick is switching positions regularly. Many believe doggy style is the only option for a bottom during anal. Wrong! You can take charge completely by riding him like a cowboy. The advantage? You control the pace and depth, which is a game-changer for beginners, allowing you to guide his cock into you at your comfort level.
But there’s more. Missionary is great for kissing, massaging, caressing, and loving him. Use your hands and lips to create intense vibes for both of you.
5. Prioritize safety and protection
Safe sex is essential if you’re with a new top and haven’t been tested for STIs. Even though a good top should carry condoms, safety is a shared responsibility. Spontaneous sex? Keep condoms in your nightstand or bag, along with quality lube.
This is even more important if you have allergies. For example, latex allergies, while rare, can be uncomfortable. If you’re aware of such sensitivities, get the right condoms beforehand.
Pro Tip: If you enjoy being fingered, investing in gloves or latex gloves is a great idea. They ensure hygiene and let you relax and fully enjoy bottoming.
6. Practice solo to enhance your pleasure
We’ve already discussed stretching, and ideally, it shouldn’t happen just before anal sex. Stretching can happen anytime, even during solo play.
Using a realistic dildo lets you practice anal sex before your first real experience.
Tip: Use a model with a suction cup. This allows you to train your movements while simulating authentic bottoming. Attach it to a smooth surface (like tiles or a shower wall) to mimic the experience and prepare yourself for the real deal.
7. Know your limits and always say stop if needed
Penises, like the men they belong to, vary greatly. In Europe, the average size is somewhere between 11 and 17 cm—a noticeable difference. While 11 cm might be manageable, 17 cm could pose a challenge.
Sometimes, big is simply too big, and it’s completely fine to voice that. Your top can adjust by not penetrating fully. Remember the cowboy position, where you control the depth and pace.
Pro Tip: If he grips his shaft with his hand, the insertable length becomes shorter. That said, length often matters less than girth. A thick 12 cm penis can be trickier than a thin 18 cm one. If it doesn’t feel right, say stop—it’s always your right.
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