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Ever heard of Findom? In this particular form of BDSM, financial dominance plays an important role. With this knowledge, the term Findom becomes clearer, doesn’t it? You can find out exactly what it is, how it works, and what makes it so appealing by reading on.
What the term Findom describes
You have probably already realized that the term is short for “financial dominance”. The terms findomme or financial BDSM or money slavery are also used synonymously. The subordinate is referred to as a financial slave or sometimes as a “finsub”, “money pig” or “pay pig”, whose wallet is “raped” by the findom.
This type of game is basically about an agreement to exchange power that a subordinate/slave enters into with a dominant consensually. The subordinate’s goal is to let the dom control them financially. In most cases, this type of relationship is not about sex, as is the case with other BDSM relationships. Findom is much more about emotional submission, humiliation and degradation, and not so much about the physical aspect.
Why men seek out a findom
But what is it that attracts a man to a relationship with a findom? Perhaps it is illuminating at this point to let a self-proclaimed submissive have his say and hear his explanation. “The arousal factor comes from the thought that the Dom is invading the personal space that is your finances,” the interviewee explains to The Independent. ‘People measure their self-esteem by their money. Financial dominance takes this notion of human beings and turns it into a perverse weapon. It’s intimacy, in a very capitalist and masochistic way,’ explains the financial slave.
In his opinion, many submissives fall into findom relationships because they have low self-esteem. He also suspects that they “are unable to deal with rejection, humiliation, loneliness, fear of being unwanted and redundant in today’s fast-paced society.” When a financial slave talks to their Dom about transferring money, they enter the realm of being “free from all their worries and cares” and become aroused.
Precisely because they are often in control in their personal and professional lives, slaves find giving up control during financial domination very liberating. Being a financial slave can also boost a person’s ego, knowing that their wealth and success allows them to participate in this role-playing game. Doms, on the other hand, enjoy the power they have over their financial slaves. They are also motivated by the attention and financial gain they receive from their arrangement. Basically, it’s the same with this type of play as with many other BDSM types.
How does a Findom “work”?
The Findom (financial dominant) can humiliate, degrade, or even consensually blackmail their financial slave in exchange for money or gifts. The Dom can also demand money or items that they feel they deserve, or they can even take on the role of the slave’s money manager. If you take on the role of the financial slave, this kind of domination will arouse you sexually and, if he allows it, you may, for example, masturbate in front of your findom or use an anal toy. However, the focus is usually not on such experiences, but on your devotion to the dominant partner. In fact, many financial slaves very often expect nothing in return.
This makes a findom relationship special.
A special feature is that many of these relationships are mainly virtual. Findoms often don’t spend time in the same room with their slave, but communicate with them online via webcam, instant messaging or email. There are financial doms who make a lot of money this way. Some also exchange phone or text messages with their slaves. But some doms and financial slaves also spend time together. They might arrange to meet for a public money transfer (a so-called cash & go), to go to an ATM together or to go shopping. In each of these actions, the slave spends money on the findom.
Sometimes the partners agree to do housework. In this case, the financial slave is paid to perform servile acts, clean, do laundry or cook. The virtual variant of financial domination in particular has become much more popular during the COVID-19 pandemic, as many in the community have sought ways to enjoy forms of power play that do not require physical contact.
How does it work with finances?
Findoms often advertise their services online. To manage the financial aspect well, they accept a wide variety of payment methods, such as PayPal, gift cards, credit cards, direct bank deposits, or even gifts that their financial slave then has delivered directly to them. They often use a PO box for this. Some financial slaves even give their findoms full access to their accounts or savings and encourage them to dispose of these funds if necessary. To protect themselves legally, many doms set up specially drafted contracts with their subordinates. These then contain, for example, a payment plan based on their finances.
Playing with financial domination can be a healthy fetish for people who have the necessary funds, especially for men. However, a relationship in which financial domination is exercised can also damage the financial health of the financial slave. You should therefore think twice about making yourself a financial slave if there is at least a risk that it will jeopardize your financial security. Even as a financial slave, you should always be able to meet your financial obligations, such as paying your bills. Many findoms therefore allow their subordinates to pay what they can. This way, a larger group of men has the chance to indulge in this fetish.
Men who take on the role of financial slave often feel that their findom is worth the money and gifts they shower on them. They like to feel vulnerable when their dom humiliates, degrades or blackmails them. Such blackmail is usually referred to as “consensual blackmail”. The parties define the terms in advance.
What to watch out for
Although the exchange of power is at the core of a findom relationship, it is important that you emphasize the importance of negotiating and agreeing on every aspect of domination and also the boundaries with your findom. The terms should be renegotiable at all times and there must be a way for you and your dom to withdraw your consent at any time and for any reason. A so-called safeword should be agreed here. The slave can use this if they want to end the agreement.
If you are a financial slave to a wealthy person or a high-ranking official or employee, it is very exciting for you to know that your findom could damage your reputation if anyone discovers your involvement in such a relationship. You may even have a steady partner that you could lose if your interest in financial domination is revealed.
If you feel that your interest in financial domination is financially burdening or even overwhelming you in your role as a financial slave, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. They can help you to better understand what you get out of financial domination and support you in reducing your dependence on this fetish. This will help you to avoid serious financial damage.
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