I’m sure some of you remember what happened on Grindr in the early 2020s. The gay app built in an ethnicity filter and was henceforth criticised. Bisexuals and gays could now exclude entire ethnic groups via a filter, and this was widely used. No Asian men, no black men, only white men! Is this already sexual racism, or is it really just about preferences?
Doesn’t everyone have the right to preferences? Then why criticise?
The Black Lives Matter movement ultimately tipped the balance in favour of Grindr removing the ethnicity filter. But was the removal fair? Some Grindr users are outraged, feeling left alone with their sexual preferences. Theoretically, one could ask oneself which filters are still okay.
Is it OK to exclude men because of their body weight, but not because of their ethnicity? It is clear that the change was not well received by everyone, but Grindr received a lot of praise from others. But it was also criticised several times that the filter ever existed!
How does the ethnic filter affect others? Does it make us no longer sexy?
As a matter of principle, everyone should have the right to preferences. One person likes it slim, the next person likes the teddy bear type. Excluding entire groups of people on the basis of their ancestry, however, does not go down well in the gay scene either.
But what are people trying to achieve when their profile contains the phrase “white only”? Is it to demean another ethnic group? In most cases, the intention is to get messages from people who visually fit into one’s own image.
A thrilling social study now shows that ethnic preferences can have considerable consequences in terms of external impact. The result was clear: men who exclude other men because of their ethnicity appear unattractive. This is true even if the objective observer does not belong to the excluded group. Automatically, a reference to desired ethnic groups was judged by the viewer as racist, even if it was never actually meant that way.
The willingness to write to a profile with an ethnic filter or to date the person behind it was significantly lower, according to the study. So if the goal of such a filter is to get more “matching” messages, the shot could backfire because of the external effect.
Sexual racism is also perceived in the gay scene
The “Grindr problem” was not a novelty, since the beginning of 2020 the members of the dating portal ran up a storm against it. It took a long time until the makers finally took notice and removed the filter. But the debate has also shown its positive sides.
In explicit forums, white men in particular advocated for stopping sexual racism. It is becoming increasingly clear that this form of filtering hurts, excludes and discriminates against people. But it is also clear that a (large) part of the filter users never had this intention. After all, all men on Grindr are primarily looking for the man of their dreams, and with very different criteria.
Sexual racism in the gay scene – why is it so prevalent?
Let’s keep in mind: Sexual racism is the rejection of certain groups of men because of their (visual) ethnicity. Now, it is not a crime if you find certain men less visually appealing than others. However, expressing this explicitly puts a lot of pressure on many people.
It is a problem that is not unique to the gay scene, but is much more prevalent here. In general, the dating pool among gays is smaller. There are significantly fewer members on Grindr than on Tinder. If an entire ethnic group of numerous men is excluded, the chances dwindle even further.
In fact, there are indications and studies that ethnicity plays a more important role among gays than among straight men. In Australia, for example, it was found that only about 42% of gays were really attracted to all men (regardless of ethnicity). Asian-looking men are particularly affected, and they are the most excluded.
This makes finding a partner much more difficult for gays who have been rejected, which can become a problem for fulfilling sexual needs. In addition, there is open racism in some areas of the scene. With terms like “Rice-Queens” Asian men are not only less preferred, but openly discriminated against.
The consequences are far-reaching: if only a few white men are attracted to Asians, an entire ethnic group becomes competitors. The noticeable rejection in the gay scene also has a negative effect on the emotional self-image. For Asian gays, the impression could arise that being gay is not worth it because there are no interested partners anyway.
Preferences without exclusion live – the goal of the Internet community
You are not worse than others if you do not find certain men attractive. Let’s face it: none of us can find every man attractive. One is too fat, the other too thin, the next one just doesn’t have the right character. But that is not the point of all the criticism against Grindr and Co.
The internet community of gays does not demand a choice of partner without preferences, but rather a rejection of exclusion, racism and open discrimination. Conversely, this does not mean that you have to go out with a certain man if you do not like him. The right of rejection will remain, the public display of one’s ethnic preferences – and unreflective, internalised racism – has been demanded by Grindr to be shut down.
After all, the gay scene is about one thing: cohesion! Gays who strive for acceptance, tolerance and community should set a good (and social) example, especially when it comes to dating.
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