The diversity of love: understanding bisexuality

5 Min. Lesezeit

Every year on 23 September is Bisexuality Visibility Day. Also known as Celebrate Bisexuality Day. Which the LGBTQIA+ community has celebrated since 1999 to promote and advocate for greater visibility and acceptance for bisexuals. What is bisexuality and what important information is there about it? You can find out all about it in this article.

What is bisexuality?

Simply summarised, bisexuality is a sexual orientation in which one is emotionally, romantically and sexually attracted to more than one gender. For bisexual people, relationships with men or even women are possible. The cultural scientist Malcolm Bowie has postulated three main strands of a bisexuality definition. On the one hand, bisexuality can be as the coexistence of the internalised binary gender order within the individual. Also, bisexuality can serve as a synonym for hermaphroditism. However, the third strand of definition postulated by Bowie. According to which bisexuality is to be understood as sexual orientation, has prevailed.

When talking about bisexuality today, the terms bisexuality or bisexuality+ are often used. The “+“sign is meant to include the broader Bi+ community of people. This refers to people who describe their sexual orientation using terms such as pansexual, polysexual, omnisexual or even fluid or queer.

Challenges for bisexuals

Bisexuals unfortunately still have to deal with a lot of prejudices within and outside the queer community. They are often accused of being greedy, manipulative, incapable of monogamy and unable to make choices. Bisexual women are perceived differently from bisexually oriented men.

Bi women are often perceived as “actually heterosexual” who only use their sexual orientation to attract heterosexual men. Bi men, on the other hand, are often characterised as people who are merely in a “phase” on the way to coming out as gay. The fact that such assessments largely come from the queer community has led bisexuals to seriously question whether they are part of the community and have a place.

In 2018, the British organisation Stonewall published a study that showed the extent of the problems still faced by bisexual people. For example, 46 per cent of bi men and 26 per cent of bi women surveyed said that they could not talk openly about their sexual orientation with anyone in their family. In comparison, this was only true for 10 percent of gay men and for five percent of lesbian women.

In consequence, this means nothing other than that a large proportion of bisexuals experience the negative effects of biphobia in their daily lives. Stereotypes such as invisibility or doubts about the existence of bisexuals. Without any support, encouragement or acceptance from parents, grandparents or siblings.

Her own flag as a symbol

Today, every grouping within the queer community has its own flag. The Pride Flag for bisexual people was designed by Michael Page back in 1988. His intention was to give the bisexual community its own symbol to increase the visibility of bisexual people. Both within the queer community and in society as a whole. Page chose pink, purple and blue (from top to bottom) as colours. The pink stripe symbolises same-sex love. The blue section represents love for another gender. And the purple segment in the middle represents love for a person, regardless of their positioning within the gender spectrum.

A dedicated day of bisexuality

The now firmly established Celebrate Bisexuality Day was first organised by US activists Wendy Curry, Michael Page and Gigi Raven Wilbur. First officially celebrated at the Conference of the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1999, Bisexuality Visibility Day was and is intended to raise awareness of the challenges faced by bisexuals around the world. With the aim is still to support the justified claim of bisexual people to respectful treatment.

The founders of Celebrate Bisexuality Day were guided in developing the day by the countless experiences of marginalisation and discrimination that bisexual people have faced. The need to do something also stemmed from the fact that bisexuals were not only attacked from within the straight community. But also from within the LGBTQ community, to which they actually belong. Unfortunately, bisexuals are still considered a forgotten part of the larger LGBTQIA+ community.

Awareness raising is needed because bisexual identity is either a confusion for some members of the straight community. Or they simply see bisexuals as gay men in disguise. From parts of the LGBTQIA+ community, on the other hand, bisexuals are sometimes attacked as “indecisive”. In the worst case, they are even seen as traitors to the queer community. It is precisely because of such hostility that many bisexual people find it particularly difficult to accept their own identity and to lead a life as a bisexual. Moreover, this situation (some of which continues to this day) contributes to those who have not yet come out as bisexual preferring to continue hiding and being forced into bondage.

Milestones on the way to more visibility for bisexuals

Politicians around the world are also trying to find their own standing on the topic of bisexuality. And to support bisexually oriented people in their struggle for visibility and acceptance. In the past few years, there have been various actions on the part of politicians that can certainly be described as milestones.

For example, on 18 September 2012 in Berkeley, California, probably for the first time ever, a bisexual recognition day was officially proclaimed by a city in the USA. The Berkeley City Council unanimously declared 23 September as Bisexual Pride and Bisexual Visibility Day without any discussion.

As a sign of support and solidarity with bisexuals, Tel Aviv-Yafo City Hall was lit up in the colours of the bisexual flag on 23 September 2019, the official Bisexual Visibility Day.

The White House also took action and hosted a non-public session to Celebrate Bisexuality Day in 2013. Attended by nearly 30 bisexual advocates/activists and government staff. There, important issues for the bisexual community could be discussed. The meeting can be considered historic, as it was the first ever bisexual-specific event hosted by the White House.

In the UK, a statement was made by the UK Minister for Women and Equality on 23 September 2013. Jo Swinson’s statement said: “I welcome Bi Visibility Day, which helps to raise awareness of the issues that bisexual people can face and provides an opportunity to do so. Celebrate diversity and focus on the B in LGB&T.“

In 2021, Tom Wolf, Democratic governor of Pennsylvania from 2015 to 2023, became the first governor in the United States ever to issue a proclamation in which he also set an example by recognising Bisexual Pride Day. He was also a supporter of same-sex marriage equality.

Living Bisexually – Always Staying True to Yourself

First, it should be said that there is no universal recipe for how to live happily as a bisexually oriented person. Everyone is allowed to find this out for themselves, in exactly the way that seems to make sense. Although there are still many prejudices. One should try to meet one’s sexual desires without fear. There are numerous bisexuals with whom one can exchange ideas or also gain experience. Those who want support on the path to self-acceptance can turn to groups and associations for bisexuals.

 

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