Are you curious about the exciting world of top and bottom during sex? Whether you’re familiar with these terms or want to find out what they’re actually about, what they’re all about. Discover the explanations and the exciting dynamic between the dominant and submissive sides. Enter the sensual world of top and bottom with us and find out everything you need for an exciting and fulfilling sex experience.
How to define the top?
The Top is the active guy in a BDSM session. While the Bottom takes on the passive role. The term is often used as an umbrella term for various dominant roles. As the spectrum of top play ranges from psychological dominance to physical pain infliction. The term top therefore refers more to the general status of the person playing. The term top is sometimes incorrectly used as a synonym for dom, but this is not entirely correct. In some cases, top refers to a sub who gives pleasure to the dom through active service, while the dom still retains control and acts as bottom in this role. This is known as a service top.
Like the direct counterpart Bottom, the term is gender-neutral in BDSM. It originally comes from the male homosexual scene and refers to the active role in anal sex. In the BDSM context, however, the term has no specific character trait or type of play, but merely describes the general status as an umbrella term.
How can I tell if I am a top?
If you have the desire to take the active and leading role in a session or relationship, you are probably a top. As the boundaries are fluid, as already explained, the term is also suitable for those who generally like to take on the dominant role, but are not exclusively committed to it or occasionally switch to the dominant side as a switch or verse.
Things you should consider as a top
It is of great importance as a top that you recognise the responsibility for the bottom. Ask about the wishes, needs and ideas of the bottom and encourage them to communicate clearly. Also ask about the consent and agree on a safeword or another clear sign to stop the game immediately. The most important thing, however, is to respect the limitations and taboos of the bottom and to take care of the bottom after the session with aftercare (aftercare).
Bottom: generic term to indicate the status
The term bottom refers to the passive role in a BDSM session, in which a person physically or mentally submits to the other man. Like the term top, bottom describes the general status as an umbrella term rather than defining a specific character trait or type of play. The spectrum of possible types of submission can be very broad – from purely psychological dominance to physical masochism, without a simultaneous interest in being mentally subjugated or humiliated. It is also possible for the status of top and bottom to change within a session, for example when the otherwise submissive man is asked to perform acts on the dominant man, whereby the dominant guy himself becomes the bottom. Just like the term top, “bottom” is also gender-neutral in BDSM. It originally comes from the male homosexual scene and refers to a person who is receptive during anal sex.
How do I know if I’m a bottom?
If you feel a general desire to surrender control to another guy, then congratulations! The bottom role probably suits you. Since the boundaries are fluid, as already mentioned, the term is well suited to someone who basically likes to take on the passive role, but is not exclusively committed and occasionally takes the dominant side (aka switch again).
Instructions for you as a bottom
As a bottom, it is important that you know yourself well and clearly communicate your wishes, needs and boundaries. You also have a responsibility to clearly communicate to your top what you expect in a session, what is not acceptable, how long the session should last and what practices you prefer. It is also important that you communicate your safeword and ensure that it is respected. Even in the submissive role, you have a responsibility for the success of the session. And last but not least, you should be open to feedback and remain curious about new things. Remember that the bottom role can also be a giving role. Enjoy the experience and have fun with it.
Stereotypes and misconceptions
There are many stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding the terms “Top“, “Bottom” and “Switch“. It is commonly assumed that “Tops” are always dominant and “Bottoms” are always subordinate. These prejudices can be harmful and lead to false assumptions about a person’s sexual orientation.
What do top and bottom really mean?
The terms “Top“, “Bottom” and “Switch” are primarily used to describe sexual preferences and relationship roles. They should not be seen as rigid hierarchies or used to force men into rigid categories. It is important to be open and respectful of others’ preferences and identities, and to have the freedom to explore and accept your own identity and preferences.
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