Have you ever heard of the US-American umbrella term “ace”? It stands for people who describe themselves as asexual and thus feel no or only little sexual attraction towards others. Aro-Ace is to be distinguished, because it hides the so-called aromantic. Aromantic, asexual, agender – Admittedly, there is a lot to learn if you really want to know all forms of sexuality and the various gender identities. But don’t worry, because you’ll find the answers to your questions here! We have a precise definition of the various sub-concepts and tell you everything you need to know.
Aromantic/Asexual/Agender: Gender identity Agender – what does that mean?
Agender is defined as people who do not assign themselves to a gender, but live “gender-free”. The definition Agender was created in order to make a description possible at all. There is a great danger of confusion here, because agender people are often mistakenly classified as transgender, which is simply wrong. Transgender people do not feel they belong to the gender they were assigned at birth. Agender people, on the other hand, cannot identify with either of the two biologically predefined genders, nor with any other gender identity. Therefore, the difference between the two gender identities trans* and agender is enormous.
Markings and Flag – Agender Pride Flag
As you probably know, a hallmark of the LGBTQIA+ scene is the rainbow flag. As gender identities and sexualities have progressed, other flags have been developed. They enable a more precise definition of one’s own affiliation and also serve as a mark of recognition. Since 2014, there has been a special flag for agender people, which consists of seven horizontally arranged stripes. The white and black stripes of the flag symbolise the absence of gender affiliation. Not every agender feels permanently genderless, but only partially belongs to a certain gender. The white and grey stripes of the flag stand for these semi-gender people. Finally, to include non-binary people, the flag has a central green horizontal stripe.
Pronouns for agender – using the right form of address
The best solution is always to ask your counterpart for the pronouns you want to use. This way you show respect for their gender identity and don’t do anything wrong. There are no predefined pronouns that apply to every Agender. It is much more uncomfortable for an Agender person if you choose pronouns purely on the basis of external characteristics. The fact is: we cannot determine pronouns on the basis of external features. This view has long been outdated.
Many people in this grouping are also reluctant to use gender-specific pronouns and prefer the variant “they/them” (third person). Non-binary pronouns are also frequently used when an orientation towards feminine or masculine language is to be avoided.
Asexual – no interest in sex, or only sometimes?
You take poppers and you can’t stop yourself, the desire for sex overtakes you and your cock becomes hard as a rock! Or is it different for you? In fact, there are many people who feel no sexual attraction and desire, or only very rarely. If there is no medical cause or sexual dysfunction, it is called asexuality.
Asexuality is unfortunately still misunderstood. For example, many people do not even know that they are asexual and assume that they have a problem. In 2008, a study even investigated whether asexuality could be a mental disorder (source: https://www.aroace.ch/aro-ace-was-ist-das/studien/). However, it is clear that asexuality is neither a disorder nor an illness.
Asexuality is simply a form of sexuality that is just as normal as homosexuality or heterosexuality. For some people, it is downright punishment to abstain from sex. Asexuals, on the other hand, do not experience renunciation. They lack the desire for sex, sometimes it is only very weakly pronounced. By the way, being asexual does not mean not feeling emotions towards other people. Asexuals can feel love and affection, some of them also love to kiss and cuddle. Closeness and sex are two very different things. Lack of interest in sexuality does not exclude a strong need for closeness.
Aromantic – no desire for romance
If a person defines himself or herself as aromantic, it has nothing to do with sexual orientation to begin with. There are aromantic people in all gender groups and also in all areas of sexuality. Here it is important to differentiate between two important themes. Romance describes the need for romantic relationships, love, affection. Sexuality, on the other hand, describes the need for sexual stimulation and satisfaction.
Aromantic people may well be interested in sexuality, whereas asexual people may feel a desire for a romantic relationship. As is so often the case in life, there are some grey areas and accordingly this play on words is also picked up in the term: People whose romantic (or sexual) attraction is partial often refer to themselves as Gray-Aromantic or Gray-Asexual.
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