BDSM is on everyone’s lips. But what is it all about, and what is behind these 4 letters? The origins of BDSM can be traced back to ancient civilisations such as the Greeks and the Romans. Who practised forms of erotic dominance and submission. Thanks – but also to be seen with a critical attitude – to popular books and films like “Fifty Shades of Grey”, BDSM has become more popular and brought into public awareness in recent years.
What is BDSM? An explanation
In the late 19th century, BDSM was first studied by sexologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing, who described it as a form of “sexual perversion”. The term “sadomasochism” was also coined in the late 19th century. By the Austrian writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose name forms the basis for the term “masochism”.
Over the years, the BDSM community itself has developed a set of safety guidelines to promote healthy and ethical BDSM practices. This also often involves BDSM practitioners using safewords. Which are agreed-upon words or phrases to communicate when a participant needs to slow down, stop or change the activity. Some BDSM activities, such as bondage, can actually be therapeutic for some people. Allowing them to explore their feelings of vulnerability and surrender in a safe and consensual context. And despite the appearance of BDSM, it is not inherently abusive or violent. As it is based on consent and communication between participants. In fact, many BDSM practitioners put safety and emotional well-being above all else.
BDSM: What is behind the letters?
The abbreviation BDSM stands for various sexual practices that are interconnected. And which are often perceived as unusual by the social norm and idea of sex. The letters are composed of the aspects “Bondage and Discipline”, “Dominance and Submission”, “Sadism and Masochism”.
BDSM refers to a variety of physical and psychological practices based on a consciously entered into power relationship between two or more people. Before the actual practice, there is usually a careful discussion about desired and undesired practices. BDSM can serve to increase sexual pleasure and arousal, but it does not always have to be the case. Since the different practices are intertwined and many followers do not practice them in their pure form, it is difficult to define them precisely.
For outsiders, BDSM games can be difficult to understand due to the perceived harshness and can be tainted with many prejudices. As they do not fit into the image of many who have a different idea of sexuality. However, BDSM is much more than physical or mental violence and the infliction of pain. Rather, this form of eroticism requires a deep connection and an enlightened relationship between the participants.
In order to facilitate consensual play, each person involved must be able to adequately assess the possible consequences of their consent. Therefore, it is advisable that anyone who wishes to engage in or try BDSM practices is adequately informed.
In the beginning there was B
Bondage mainly refers to different types of restraint practices that can be used to make the partner or oneself immobile and to create sexual pleasure. Methods include bondage with ropes, handcuffs, leather cuffs, spreader bars, and bondage devices such as strings or St. Andrew’s crosses. A particularly widespread bondage technique in the BDSM scene is the Japanese “Shibari”. In which the partner is artfully and mindfully tied up with certain ropes and according to certain rules.
D as in Disciplin: its first meaning
In BDSM, the term “discipline” refers to an inclination in which the disciplining or punishment of a partner is used to enhance mutual pleasure. These practices can be physical and involve toys such as whips, canes or bare hands. But other types of punishment, such as tunnel games or setting rules, also fall within the scope of discipline.
Inseparable: dominance and submission
Dominance and submission in BDSM refer to the conscious and consensual creation of unequal power relationships between two or more partners. This power relationship can exist for a short period of time or during a session. But can also be the basis of an entire relationship. The range is very wide and individual. In contrast to sadism and masochism or bondage, dominance and submission are mainly about the psychological aspects of the power relationship. Symbols such as collars can play an important role in underpinning the power relationship. And physical aspects such as corporal punishment are usually an essential part of D/s.
In BDSM, the dominant part, often called the Dom or Top, takes control over his submissive partners, also called Sub or Bottom. Examples of D/s practices are submission and education games, pet play, tease-and-denial games and playful enslavement. Which for some people is even permanently integrated into everyday life 24/7. Especially in the case of psychologically demanding types of play, it is important that the Dom takes care of the physical and mental health of his sub.
A special form in the D/s constellation are switchers or switch for short. Who can take on both roles at different times or with different partners.
Last but not least: sadism and masochism
The combination of the terms sadism and masochism, often popularly referred to as “sadomaso”, refers to what is probably the best-known subset of BDSM. And is often equated with BDSM. The term is not clearly defined in colloquial as well as clinical use.
Basically, sadomasochism is a sexual deviance in which a person experiences sexual pleasure through the infliction or suffering from pain. It often involves the use of percussive tools such as whips or canes. In contrast to discipline, where pain serves more as a means to an end, in sadomasochism the eroticising effect of pain is in the foreground.
The term is clearly distinguished from violence, as sadomasochism is always carried out on a voluntary basis and with mutual consent. People who practise sadomasochism are usually psychologically healthy and, contrary to prejudice, not prone to violence.
Important in BDSM: communication
Before entering into an upcoming BDSM session, it is important that all parties involved have a clear understanding of what practices are to be included and for what purpose. It is of great importance that each individual is clear about and able to articulate his own needs. Regardless of which area of BDSM they fall into.
It is particularly important that all participants are clear about which practices are to be included and for what purpose. BDSM must be taken into account and the participants should discuss these intensively. Communication and safety have top priority in BDSM.
Every person who enters into a power relationship is free to withdraw consent to an agreement at any time. For example, with a safeword. One should always pay attention to one’s own feelings and, if in doubt, keep one’s hands off unpleasant situations.
The essential thing is thus communication, safety and one’s own well-being. Since the spectrum of BDSM is very wide and the terms (what is considered kink, fetish, vanilla, hardcore?) are hard to distinguish from each other, more information about the different inclinations, fetishes, roles and the BDSM scene can be important.
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