You want to be a Gay BDSM Master or learn more about it? Oh, yes please! It’s clear what makes your mouth water. But there’s a lot more to it than just being a poser. A Master is a person who consensually takes ownership of a partner with whom they are in a relationship. In German, this means that the “master” exercises dominance and control over a “slave“. In this role, the dominant BDSM Master is very controlling and demanding.
“Serf” is a new term from the USA that is used for the type of play that is normally referred to as “slave”. Due to the problematic historical connotation and the possible negative effects on some people, the use of “slave” in the public sphere should be avoided. Instead, there is the term “serf”, which means “servant or serf”. Other possible alternatives are “servant” and “menial” for “servant or manservant”.
BDSM Master – Check! But you can’t do without him: the sub. This is a person who has agreed to hand over full control to another person. This type of relationship can vary in length, but sometimes the servant relationship extends over a longer period of time. The submissive person in the role of serf surrenders completely to the decision-making power of a superior person and is regarded as their property. The appeal of this role play arises from the strongly asymmetrical balance of power and power imbalance in the relationship. Feeling of absolute control over a person and the great responsibility associated with this exert an additional attraction. The submissive part surrenders unconditionally to the person in power and enjoys both the vulnerability and the feeling of being relieved of responsibility.
Related roles in the power imbalance
Relationships can function in many different ways outside BDSM Master and slave. There are different roles and dynamics that can be chosen and lived by those involved. Here are some examples:
- Dom/sub (dominant/submissive): In this role, one person assumes the dominant position and another person assumes the submissive position. The BDSM dom sets the rules, gives instructions and controls the course of the relationship, while the sub surrenders to the dom. There is therefore an agreement between the dom and sub about BDSM power imbalances and submission.
- Top/bottom: These roles often refer to BDSM practices during a particular act or session. The top performs acts while the bottom receives them. In this dynamic, the focus is on performing specific roles during play rather than a long-term relationship dynamic.
- Switch: A person who is switch alternates between the roles of dominant and submissive. It can take place either in an individual relationship or in different relationships with different partners.
It is important to note that these roles are not fixed or uniform, but depend on individual preferences and agreements. BDSM relationships can also include other elements such as discipline, fetishism, sadism or masochism. The people involved should always ensure consent, clear communication and care for their safety.
BDSM roles: Dominance and submission
Establishing and maintaining a BDSM Master-Sub relationship usually takes some time. The BDSM Master often has to train the submissive partner until he fulfils his demands and obeys all commands. After that, the sub has the duty to fulfil the wishes of the dominant BDSM person around the clock and to serve them. The extent of the BDSM Master’s commands is limitless within the scope of the agreement: it can range from simple household tasks to errands, financial arrangements, kinky services and even sexual labour. The submissive must submissively obey the BDSM Master.
A domination relationship with a BDSM Master does not usually develop spontaneously, but is based on a contract. In this contract, the boundaries and tasks are defined in advance according to the wishes of both parties before the comprehensive control begins. It can arise and be practised spontaneously, but often the wishes and control of the BDSM Master and the BDSM sub are agreed beforehand, in which the most important points are written down. The submissive can then be identified by jewellery (especially the “Ring of O”). This makes it clear that the BDSM sub is in the possession of a BDSM Master and is subject to complete command. At the end of the contract period, the serf is released into freedom, provided that the agreements have been honoured.
What to bear in mind during master-slave BDSM sex
You have the option of creating your own serf contract or purchasing a template online. We recommend that you create your own contract in Google Docs so that you can easily share it with each other. Creating your own contract also gives you more flexibility. After all, this is your master/slave and there will be aspects you want to include in the contract that are not included in a standardised template. Below you will find examples of topics for slave contracts.
Choose the ones that suit you and leave out the rest.
- Tasks and responsibilities: What responsibilities do you expect from your serf? What tasks does he have to fulfil in the relationship, in the household, in public, etc.?
- Expectations, wishes and needs: Put everything that was discussed in the initial conversations in writing.
- Dealing with other people: How do you and your serf interact with other people? Are you in a or is it possible for you or your sibling to play with other people?
- Veto right: When does the BDSM Master-Serf dynamic end? Rules are typically in place for illness or medical emergencies.
- Objectives: What are the primary goals of this serf relationship? Is it for a short-term casual affair or a long-term loving relationship? Perhaps training your serf to join a community of fellow serfs living together is also a goal.
- Salutation: How should the serf address you as BDSM Master? How do you want to address him? Are there any words that should be avoided? Some Serfs have no problem being called a “fag”, but find it unpleasant to be called a “pig” and vice versa.
- Verbal and non-verbal commands: What commands do you want to give your serf? How should he respond? This can also include a list of submissive postures he should adopt.
- Punishment: What punishments should the serf receive if he does not fulfil his tasks as desired? And what rules are there to ensure that your Serf is not harmed during punishment?
- Training plan: You could draw up a comprehensive training plan for your submissive serf, setting out exactly what their serf training will look like over the coming weeks and months.
- Progress chart: Everyone loves a gold star next to their name. Why don’t you create a progress chart or reward system where your serf can track their own progress?
Take it easy
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your serf contract has to be perfect. You can always improve it over time. Because there is no one right way to create a contract. Remember that it’s just a document that describes how you want to implement your BDSM Master/Serf relationship so that there’s clarity for everyone involved. If you don’t enforce a strict protocol, you may not even need a detailed service contract. A list of what you expect from your serf may be sufficient. If you and your serf can read the document, know what you want from each other and enjoy your relationship, then the contract has served its purpose.
Still remain equal
It is of great importance that as a BDSM Master you respect your partner’s boundaries and stick to your agreements. Complete control only takes place within the agreed framework. Nothing is more important than the mental and physical health of your servant. As a Master (or BDSM Mistress) you have an immense responsibility and should be aware of this. You have the opportunity as a responsible ruler in your Master-Slave-Gay-BDSM to live out your deepest fantasies in accordance with a submissive servant.
As a serf, it is of great importance that you always experience the loss of control within a defined framework. It is important that you make your boundaries clear early on and, if necessary, record them in a contract. Although this contract is not legally binding, it has a symbolic and official meaning for many people. Writing down your wishes, needs and hard and soft limits also helps you to become clearer for yourself. Choosing a partner to confide in is also essential, as you are very vulnerable and defenceless in your role. Due to the potential psychological stress of humiliation, it is important that you and your partner constantly monitor your mental state. If you pay attention to all these points, your fantasies can finally come true.
Master BDSM – slave sex: how long?
Decide whether you want a continuous relationship (24/7) or whether you prefer occasional entries into the BDSM Master/Serf dynamic. There are different ways to do this:
- Occasional, low protocol: You agree on the timing and duration in which the dynamic will be implemented. If your partner only wants to be sexually submissive, this could take place in the bedroom. However, many slaves like to take on tasks that involve the entire household.
- 24/7, low protocol: You have a round-the-clock relationship, but one where low protocol applies. This means that your submissive partner is always ready and willing to be your servant, but only acts when you ask them to.
- High protocol at home, lower protocol outside: When you are at home, a stricter protocol applies. In public, you can switch to a more relaxed protocol.
- High protocol, 24/7: This is the extreme end of a master and slave relationship, where a strict protocol is followed around the clock.
Remember that there is no right or wrong way to create such a dynamic, and this list is not exhaustive. You will need to figure out what is right for you over time and continually improve and adjust the dynamic. As a recommendation, you could start with an occasional low protocol.
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