Sex and masturbation have many parallels. Both activities are pleasurable and contribute to our well-being and sexual health. Almost all of us practise them, although we may talk more openly about sex than about masturbation. If it is difficult or time-consuming for you to have an orgasm during sex, but easier when you are pleasuring yourself, you may be affected by what is called “death grip syndrome” (DGS).
What is death grip?
Death grip syndrome is not a medical diagnosis you will find in textbooks. In fact, there is no information about it in the medical literature. It is a colloquial term that describes a common problem in men. The ability to reach orgasm during masturbation but not during anal or oral sex. It is not known exactly where the term originated. But most attribute it to sex columnist Dan Savage and date it back to the early 2000s.
Death grip is a reduced sensitivity of the penis. When the penis is exposed to a specific form of sexual stimulation and pleasure, it tends to prefer that particular type of stimulation over other methods. This means that men who experience a significantly more intense pleasure sensation from wanking than from anal or oral stimulation tend to maintain this habit. If the technique used is thus strongly ingrained. And difficult to reproduce during sex with a partner, it takes more effort to reverse it.
Causes and risk factors of death grip syndrome
The probable reason for this is already in the name: a too tight grip during masturbation, which is different from the feeling of (mainly) anal intercourse.
But death grip can be linked not only to the way you wank, but also to the consumption of pornography. Fortunately, there are several ways to fix it so you can have sex and enjoy it again. But before we get to that, let’s take a closer look at the possible causes of death grip and why it makes your penis less sensitive during sex.
1. Too much stimulation
The main cause of death grip syndrome is that you are squeezing your penis too tightly.
Your penis contains receptors that give you pleasure when the right pressure is applied. When penetrating an anus, the penis is compressed in a way that is incredibly pleasurable for you.
When you masturbate you are trying to mimic the tightness and pressure on your penis. But it is not a perfect replica of it. In fact, sometimes you may push harder on your penis than an anus and sphincter would normally do. This may sound painful at first, but you are squeezing and holding it in a way that makes every thrust incredibly pleasurable for you.
The problem is that in these situations you over-stimulate your nerves and they get used to this new form of stimulation, so when you go to have sex, your lover’s anus can’t put enough pressure on your nerve endings. The death grip syndrome occurs and sex doesn’t feel nearly as good as masturbating. This makes it quite difficult for you to find satisfaction without masturbation.
2. Excessive masturbation
Experiencing an orgasm is a fantastic feeling, and it’s perfectly understandable if you want to jerk off several times a day. As with anything you do frequently, your body gets used to it and it becomes more difficult to achieve in the future.
If you have ever had a day when you masturbated several times, you may notice that from the third or fourth time onwards, it becomes much more difficult than the first time.
3. Performance anxiety
Although this is not directly related to the Wank Method, there is still a connection between Performance Anxiety and the Death Grip. If you are nervous or anxious during sex, this will be reflected in your body’s response. This anxiety increases if you already think you are suffering from death grip syndrome. stop thinking about cuming all the time, right? Unfortunately, it’s hard to just stop thinking about anything, especially when you’re nervous. Performance anxiety is real during sex and can be a real obstacle.
4. Influence of pornography and fantasies
It is important to understand that porn is not comparable to the sex you have with your partner. It is unrealistic to expect the same from you and your partner that you see in porn, and this can even be harmful to your relationship.
A excessive consumption of porn can affect what arouses you, and you may find that normal sex with your partner no longer arouses you as much as it used to. This is because your body is used to wanting the sex you see on the screen.
The same goes for sexual fantasies. It is perfectly normal to have fantasies and to act them out. But if your masturbation is always linked to the same fantasy, you may have difficulty coming unless you are directly involved. This is another cause of death grip syndrome, which again has nothing to do with the way you hold your penis.
5. Medication
People taking antidepressants may be at increased risk of using Death Grip. If you find that you are taking such medication and suffer from DGS at the same time, this could be a solution for you. This is because certain medications can affect the sensitivity of your penis, making sexual sensations less pleasurable.
6. Physical or medical conditions
Another reason may be underlying medical problems. Any condition that can lead to lower testosterone levels can cause death grip syndrome. Thyroid problems can also contribute to nerve problems and reduce sensitivity throughout the body.
Effect of death grip on sexual function
Delayed ejaculation, whether caused by a too-tight grip during masturbation or some other problem, can usually be treated
If you decide and think it may be death grip syndrome, it’s time to talk about ways to reverse it. Keep in mind, however, that these solutions may take some time to achieve results. The DGS does not develop overnight and in most cases it is due to years of masturbation.
Therefore, it may take a few months or even longer to reverse all these effects. It will be a difficult period, but if you really work at it, you can help overcome DGS and have fulfilling sex with your partner again.
Although sexual dysfunction can be distressing, it is not usually permanent. However, there are several approaches to counteract the notorious death grip syndrome. If you think you are affected, you can try taking the following steps to recondition yourself physically and mentally, overcome this disorder and improve your quality of life.
Tips to avoid or overcome death grip syndrome
After talking about what causes death grip, let’s not leave out what you can do AGAINST it. Please note, however, that these solutions may take some time to show results.
The information and advice given here should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or psychological advice.
If you have medical or psychological concerns or questions about your health, it may be helpful to consult a qualified medical professional or psychologist. Only they can make a comprehensive diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment tailored to your specific needs.
Please do not rely solely on the information or advice provided here, but always seek professional advice on health issues. Each case is individual and requires personalised medical or psychological care.
1. Take a break from wanking
As mentioned earlier, overcoming the death grip can be a challenge. This is the first method you should use to resolve the syndrome, but it is also the most difficult. It is easy not to masturbate for a day, but after a week it becomes more difficult. If your body is used to masturbating every day, you will experience similar withdrawal symptoms. You will become aroused more quickly and your body will crave wanking. Try to stay strong during this challenge.
The most important tip to stop wanking is to keep yourself busy. If your mind is wandering and thinking about all sorts of things, you will feel the need to watch porn and wank. Try to distract yourself with work and planned activities with your partner so that you don’t think about sex so much.
I understand that it is not easy to stop masturbating. If you fail and still satisfy yourself, you should not be discouraged. Yes, it will delay progress and set back your recovery, but it is not the end of the world. The very fact that you are making this decision will help you overcome death grip syndrome.
2. Avoid pornographic material
This should be light, self-explanatory. Porn and the like excite you sexually and masturbation is not far behind. So if you sit down and watch porn, you’ll have trouble keeping yourself in check.
Another reason why you should abstain from pornography is that we can break down those fantasies and assumptions we get about sex. It can be helpful to take a break from such staged situations and performances to enjoy sex with your partner in the moment and not hold them to unrealistic standards.
3. Start masturbating slowly again
Although it’s important to treat DGS, it doesn’t mean you have to stay away from sex and masturbation completely. After about two weeks of not masturbating, you can slowly start to pleasure yourself again. However, it is important not to force it. Of course, if you get a hard-on, you can have fun with it as much as you like. Even better is to talk to your lover or partner about it, as they can help you too. By taking these steps, your body will gradually get used to wanking again.
4. Avoid too firm grips when masturbating
After a break from jerking off, you can slowly start pleasuring yourself again. However, it is important to check your technique and make adjustments if necessary to avoid starting the same game all over again. The most important tip is to loosen your grip on your penis. Yes, it is understandable that this may not be as intense as before, but it can make sex stimulating again.
The aim here is to make the stimulation from the real act more pleasurable than what you have become accustomed to with your hands.
5. Enjoy relaxed sex
If the problem is performance anxiety, you should find a way to relax during sex. There are several ways you can relax and calm your mind during sex. The first and probably easiest way would be to have a drink or two before sex. I don’t mean get very drunk and then have sex, but that a light buzz can help relax your brain and prevent it from becoming too distracted. This is something that you need to discuss with your partner and that they should also be okay with.
6. Communicate openly with your partner
While this is not a direct cure for death grip, it may be advisable to be honest and open with your partner whenever possible. DGS not only affects you, but can also affect your partner, as they may feel that they are sexually inadequate because you are not getting off. Share your concerns and talk about your difficulties. A good partner can support you during this time.
If your death grip is due to problems in the relationship, addressing and working through these problems can also lead to improvements.
7. Consult a medical specialist
If you think and feel that this problem goes beyond masturbation or too tight a grip, it may be time to see a doctor and get checked out. The professional can help identify possible underlying medical problems that have not yet been diagnosed and find appropriate treatment options. Therapists can also help you if you are experiencing difficulties and challenges with sex.
|