The term submission comes from the English, with various meanings including “presentation”, “delivery”, “sending in”, “application”, “registration” and “submission”. In the BDSM context, submission refers to the voluntary relinquishment of control to one or more persons. Together with sadism, submission forms the “S” in BDSM. And is an umbrella term for giving up control, trusting someone else and/or submission. This can happen in different ways, depending on each individual’s desires, preferences and limitations. For some, people find satisfaction in relinquishing their power and serving others. While others experience it as a form of sexual stimulation.
Of course, the word also has a Latin origin. There, the term “submission” comes from “sub”, meaning “under”, and the verb “mittere”, meaning “to throw” or “to release”. “Devotion” is a synonym for “submission”.
Kneel down, you sow! For whom is submission?
In the BDSM scene, submissive and submissive persons are called sub, which is derived – oh wonder – from exactly this word component. Bottom is another common expression. Submission, like other sexual practices and preferences, is for people who have an interest in submitting and relinquishing control. And for people who like to take control and lead others. Why and in what way someone is attracted to it is very subjective. Some enjoy relinquishing control to another person and experiencing a special intimacy. Others find the exchange of power appealing, while still others enjoy the physical inferiority and even pain. There are many different roles in the BDSM scene that are dedicated to submission. Examples include serfs, ropebunnies or littles.
What are the different types of submission?
There are many different types, and each person can find their own way to submit. Some of the most common types of submission are:
- Sexual submission: Giving up control in the sexual act to another person is the key here. This can involve submitting to a partner’s sexual desires or fantasies. Or taking a dominant or submissive role in a relationship.
- Bodily submission: This involves giving up physical control to another person. This can be done, for example, through physical practices (kinks) such as wearing shackles, obedience and discipline. Or holding onto objects.
- Emotional submission: This happens by emotionally submitting to another person. This can mean subordinating one’s wants and needs to a partner, or supporting a partner in emotionally difficult situations.
- Financial Submission: This involves one person giving control of finances to another. The partner is then left to make financial decisions or to take care of the partner’s finances in a relationship.
- Mental submission: This involves relinquishing mental control to another person. This can be done, for example, through hypnosis or mental manipulation.
Where are the limits with submission?
When submitting, as with all other practices in BDSM, it can become dangerous if not safe, sane and consensual (SSC), as well as carried out responsibly. Responsibility plays an important role here, both towards others and towards oneself. It is not only reckless but can also be dangerous to blindly give oneself to someone without first communicating limits and the exact terms of the power exchange. Especially when submission is not only within a temporary game but also part of a relationship, there is a risk of being taken advantage of or hurt. Some possible risks and dangers of it can be:
- Bodily injury: When physical restraints such as shackles or gags are used, injuries can occur if they are used incorrectly or if the persons involved are not attentive enough.
- Psychological stress: If a person oversteps their boundaries or feels forced to do things they do not want to do, this can lead to psychological distress and trauma.
- Abuse of power: In some cases, submission can lead to one person abusing their power or taking advantage of another. It is important to ensure that all participants take part in the activities voluntarily and with full consent.
- Stigma and discrimination: In some cultures and societies, BDSM is still seen as inappropriate or abnormal. This can lead to discrimination, stigmatisation and social isolation.
Conclusion
Submission does not mean giving up on yourself or letting someone else carry you because you yourself have forgotten how to walk or because you no longer want to. On the contrary, surrender should be seen as a gift, not as a burden to be surrendered. Therefore, it is important to take responsibility for oneself before handing it over to another person. It is the task of the top not to just blindly accept the submission, but to check whether one can and wants to accept the offered submission at all. Only in this way can a secure relationship be created for both sides.
Because it is important that all parties involved are aware of the risks and dangers of submission and ensure that they practice in a safe and trustworthy environment. The use of safewords and clear communication between all parties can help avoid misunderstandings and unwanted situations. It is also important to make sure that no person is pushed beyond their limits or forced to do something they do not want to do. Everyone should have the freedom to give their consent and also to withdraw it at any time.
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