The second meaning for the “D” in BDSM is dominance. Dominance is a term derived from the Latin word “dominus” meaning “owner of a house or dominion”. Dominance refers to the fact that an individual, group or thing has a higher status or power over others and is subordinate to them.
You belong to me now!
It can occur in a variety of contexts, such as biology, psychology, genetics, economics and BDSM. In biology, dominance refers to one individual having a higher status within a group and subordinating others. With psychology, dominance refers to possessive behaviours and striving to dominate others. In genetics, dominance refers to hereditary factors that prevail over recessive factors. Within business and sport, it can mean that a person or company is successful and powerful and prevails over others.
In BDSM, dominance refers to the power relationship between the person performing and the person letting happen. The dominant partner is in control of the situation and the type of play, while the submissive partner is subordinate. No matter what type of BDSM play is practised, there is always a controlling person who holds the reins. Here are some examples of BDSM practices where dominance plays a central role:
- Bondage: The dominant partner binds the submissive partner and thus has full control over the latter’s movements and actions.
- Spanking: The dominant partner slaps the submissive partner with their hand. Or a tool to cause pain and demonstrate their dominance.
- Dominance and submission games: Here, the dominant partner takes control of the submissive partner. And determines what the submissive partner should or should not do.
- Role play: In role plays, the dominant partner takes on a certain role. E.g. that of a teacher, doctor or policeman, and the submissive partner plays the corresponding counter-role.
- Sadomasochism: This involves causing or feeling pain, with the dominant partner controlling the submissive partner and inflicting pain.
In all these practices, the dominant partner is in control and determines what happens and how the actions are performed. The submissive partner submits to the wishes and ideas of the dominant partner.
How does it show itself?
Dominance manifests itself in various forms and contexts. In biology, dominance means a higher status within a group. In psychology, it manifests itself through controlling behaviour and the pursuit of power over others. The dominant partner takes control of the submissive partner. Dominance is characterised by the individual and is based on a fair consensus, not on the brutal exercise of power.
The expression is characterised by qualities and characteristics that are considered dominant, such as taking the lead, leading, controlling and exerting influence. This does not mean bluntly directing. On the contrary, it is particularly important to respect the boundaries and goals of the submissive partner and to fulfil their wishes together in a respectful and honest relationship.
This is particularly suited to people who take a certain pleasure in control, enjoy the power imbalance and can express this through words, looks, gestures, facial expressions or even physically.
However, dominance is not necessarily associated with corporal punishment or a specific physical practice. It can be expressed in different ways depending on the context and situation in which it occurs. Some examples:
- Posture and gestures: A dominant person can express their dominance through an upright posture, firm eye contact, certain gestures and facial expressions.
- Language and tone of voice: A dominant person may express dominance through certain speech patterns, commanding tone of voice and clear, definite pronunciation.
- Talking: A dominant person can express his or her dominance
- by deliberate touching, for example by stroking or grabbing.
- Bondage: By tying up the submissive partner, the dominant person can demonstrate their control and power.
- Spanking: By hitting the submissive partner, the dominant person can express their dominance and control.
- Dominance and submission games: Here, the dominant person takes control and determines what the submissive person should or should not do.
What to consider when it comes to dominance
When exercising dominance, it is important to consider some crucial aspects. First, there must be clear consent between the partners, with both partners giving their consent explicitly and voluntarily. Open and honest communication about wishes, limits and needs is essential.
Respectful interaction is another important aspect of exercising dominance as a form of play. It is important to respect the boundaries and wishes of your partner and not to overstep them. Care should always be taken to use it safely and to avoid injury.
The responsibility for safe and consensual practices lies with the dominant person. It is important to be aware of this responsibility and to take it seriously. It is also important to provide adequate aftercare after the practice and to be alert to any emotional reactions or injuries your partner may have.
By paying attention to these important aspects, dominance can be practised safely and consensually as a form of play in BDSM. However, it is important to be aware that BDSM practices are not without risks and therefore also require thorough preparation and knowledge of safe use.
Dominance – gesture of voluntarily and not as a right or entitlement to it
Dominance is a quality that is difficult to define, but is nevertheless coveted by many people. It is important to handle this quality well as a dominant person and never exploit one’s position or impact. Continuous reflection, conversations with submissive people, especially with partner persons, as well as gradually learning practices and knowledge can help to enjoy dominance to the fullest, but also to practice it safely.
In BDSM relationships, especially those with a strong dominance aspect, the voluntary and consensual assumption of control and thus a bit of power is the basis. It is important to be aware that this transfer is a gift that should be treated with respect. It is about creating a respectful relationship between the partners and respecting the boundaries and needs of the submissive.
As a dominant person, it is important to take responsibility and always remember that dominance is always a gift and never a right or entitlement. It is important to exercise your dominance responsibly and respectfully, always looking out for the safety and well-being of the submissive.
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