Have you ever met someone and didn’t immediately know whether it was worth getting in touch with them more intensively? Or even starting a relationship with them? Never mind, that’s how many gays feel. But luckily there are clues, so-called “Boyfriend Green Flags”, which can help you to make the right judgement about someone.
Green flags can show whether a man is right for you
Boyfriend green flags are colloquial terms used to describe characteristics and behaviours that someone displays when getting to know them. And which can at least be an indication that a healthy, stable relationship is possible with the person. The opposite of green flags are red flags, which are considered warning signals that a relationship with the person in question could be difficult. There are various green flags that you can look out for to help you find the right partner or a new good friend.
Be able to listen
It is essential for every relationship that your partner is attentive to you and listens to you. So pay attention to whether the person you are getting to know really turns towards you. Listens to your words and asks interesting questions themselves. This shows that the person is genuinely interested in you and wants to find out more about you. So it shouldn’t be the case that during your first conversation, the other person talks a lot more than you do and that you only talk about yourself the whole time. If you can listen, you are also signalling that their curiosity about your perspective will not fade. Even in conflict situations.
Show presence and invest time
There are few things worse on a first date than your new acquaintance looking at their smartphone the whole time or even chatting with other people instead of paying attention to you. Make sure that the other person makes eye contact with you. And lets you know that they are fully present in the moment. It is equally important that your new acquaintance is willing to invest time in a relationship that may be developing. He will show this by replying to your messages promptly, contacting you on his own initiative and initiating meetings. This will also show you that he is not afraid of commitment and wants to spend time with you.
No speed dating
A relationship of any kind needs time to grow and mature. Boyfriend green flags are when a new acquaintance respects the fact that you need time to get to know them better. You can tell by the fact that he slams on the brakes when dating. So as not to rush things. For example, someone who asks you to reveal intimate, personal details on the first few dates should be treated with caution. Even if the other person wants to turn you into a kind of therapist during the first few conversations, this is at least a sign that you are not a good match.
Ability to show your own feelings
One of the fundamental characteristics on which a relationship is based is so-called emotional intelligence. This is what enables a person to engage intensively in the intimacy necessary for a relationship in the first place. It is therefore important that you look for clues whether your new acquaintance is able to recognise their feelings for you. Talk about them and reflect on them. If this is the case, the person can allow their own vulnerability and also admit their weaknesses.
Show empathy
Every relationship, whether in the form of a friendship or a sexual relationship, depends on both parties being able to understand the feelings of their friend or partner. And empathise with their reality of life. This will give your friend or partner the ability to show compassion, support you in difficult situations, or rejoice with you in happy situations.
Respect your needs
Respecting your needs should be an important concern for your friend. Whether it’s physical, emotional or personal needs, you should be with someone who takes your needs seriously. And doesn’t dismiss them out of hand. For example, if you don’t feel like having sex, he should accept this and back off. If you need time for yourself, he should be able to give you this space without much discussion. If you have thoughts that you don’t want to talk to him about, he will respect this decision. And at most offer to be available if you decide otherwise.
The ability to self-reflect
An important quality for any relationship is the ability to self-reflect. Therefore, pay attention to whether the person you are getting to know is able to critically question their feelings, strengths, weaknesses, fears and behavioural patterns. It is also important to realise that your own actions always have an impact on other people. Ideally, your counterpart will show self-responsibility and continuously try to improve their own behaviour. If you live a self-reflective life, you can also accept feedback.
Your friends are his friends
If you meet a man, and he is friendly to people who are important to you, this is one of the Boyfriend Green Flags. This is a good sign, especially if it’s a good relationship with your friends. After all, your friends are some of the most important people in your life. It would be counterproductive if you had a boyfriend who was jealous of them. It’s normal for him to be annoyed when he meets your friends. Nevertheless, he should try to get involved with them and enjoy them. If he succeeds in doing this, he is the type of man who is worth getting to know and ideally keeping.
Living intimately
Intimacy should always feel natural and when you have sexual experiences with him, whether it’s cuddling or unusual practices, it’s important that you feel comfortable and enjoyable. Ultimately, it’s about both of you getting your money’s worth during sex. If you meet a man who always wants to be the tough macho guy during sex, who wants to fuck you without condoms or who only wants to have sex once a week, that’s perfectly fine if it’s okay for both of you. You both always need to feel satisfied after sex. Incidentally, this doesn’t just apply to the actual sex, but also to holding hands, kissing or cuddling.
Emotional stability and self-reliance
When you meet someone, pay attention to whether they have sudden mood swings. Or what their self-confidence is like and whether they have a strong network of friends and family to fall back on. All of this can show how they react in stressful situations and whether they are able to look after themselves well. It also makes it clear that he has interests and goals that are important to him. And that he is pursuing just as much as his relationship with you. A man like this won’t constantly hang on your coat-tails or annoy you with his emotional rollercoaster rides.
Your knowledge of human nature as a compass
Especially at the beginning, when you don’t even know someone yet but are in love, it can be useful to attach importance to the above-mentioned clues. Because they can actually show you whether someone suits you or whether they are rather unsuitable as a friend or partner. The old adage that love is blind can also be avoided if you pay attention to the Green Flags and also consider their counterparts, the Red Flags, despite any feelings that may arise.
|