Would you like to get to know people, go on dates with great endings or maybe find the love of your life, but find it difficult to get in touch with people and flirt with them? Never mind, if you read on, you’ll get lots of cool tips on how to flirt like a pro.
What actually is flirting?
It’s simple: according to experts, flirting is an erotic approach between two people who make contact with each other without obligation. Flirting involves eye contact, facial expressions, words or certain gestures. The aim of flirting is to build up and play with erotic or sexual tension. Flirting doesn’t have to be about ending up in the sack with your flirting partner straight away. However, such advances often end in a hot sex experience.
Perhaps you should see flirting as an exciting dance of desire that gets your partner’s pulse racing, the hairs on the back of their neck standing up and their eyes sparkling with passion. If you have mastered the art of flirting, it is a powerful weapon in your hand that will make your dating attempts successful and draw the “flirted with” person to you almost magnetically.
The secret flirt weapon: self-confidence
You’ve probably come across people who exude great self-confidence and are therefore attractive (at least if their self-confidence doesn’t manifest itself in arrogance). When flirting, self-confidence is your most important tool. It starts when you walk into a room, whether real or digital. Enter with your head held high, walk tall and confident.
Your self-confidence is the aphrodisiac that will attract your admirers like light attracts moths. Once you have discovered an interesting person, make eye contact and hold it. Give the other person a genuine smile and radiate confidence when you speak to them. With your self-confidence, you can turn a normal conversation (or a simple chat) into a captivating exchange that will leave the other person wanting more.
Compliments as verbal bouquets of flowers
Telling someone what you like about them is like balm for the soul. That’s why compliments can also be described as the sweet little things in flirting. When you meet someone, don’t be afraid to tell them that you like their charm, humour or style. If your compliments are genuine, they give the other person the feeling that you appreciate and desire them.
Never forget that sincerity is the key to success. A nice compliment at the right moment can have an extremely attractive effect and fan the flames of attraction. What you should avoid at all costs, however, is exaggeration. They don’t come across as authentic and give the other person the feeling that you’re not taking them seriously or are making fun of them. This way, you can forget about the hot conclusion to the flirtation and will probably go to bed alone.
Joking & teasing – playful game
Ideally, a good flirtation is peppered with playful banter. Banter, jokes and a little sarcasm will lighten the atmosphere and take your conversation to another, enticing level. This banter also shows your flirting partner that you are quick-witted and funny, and that you are not afraid of crossing minor boundaries. A certain amount of self-irony is also always helpful, as it makes it clear that you don’t see yourself as the centre of the universe.
Well-dosed jokes and banter ensure that the atmosphere of flirting remains light-hearted and respectful. This kind of banter also gives you the opportunity to bring your inclinations and desires into play and to hint in a friendly way at what you would like to do with him during the course of the evening or night.
Less can be more – active listening
The inevitable death of every flirt is a full-length monologue from one of the flirting partners. The ability to listen, on the other hand, proves to be a flirting superpower time and time again. When you actively listen to the other person and react sensitively to what they say, you show them that you can put yourself in their shoes and are genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings. Your open questions and thoughtful answers create a deeper connection.
You’ll also get plenty of material for follow-up meetings that will hopefully take place. Avoid constantly taking over the conversation and not letting the other person have their say. No matter how interesting what you say may be, a monologue is counterproductive in a flirtation. Incidentally, it’s helpful to simply ask a question if you don’t know what to say next on a first date.
Non-verbal flirt signals – body language
Of course, words carry a lot of weight when flirting, but they only form part of your message to the other person. When you’re flirting with someone, it’s not just about what you say to the person, but also about the signals your body uses to communicate. Unfortunately, we pay far too little attention to our body language, even though it can show how we feel, what we think or what we want.
When flirting, your posture should always be open. Lean forward slightly during conversations. Use your hands, but without gesticulating wildly. Even with seemingly casual, innocent touches, you can send shivers of excitement through the other person. The first aim of your verbal and non-verbal communication must be to make your flirting partner feel comfortable and to respect their boundaries. If you stick to this, it will work with any flirting partner.
Appearances say a lot
A wise person once said that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. This means that when we meet someone for the first time, we “scan” them within the first few seconds and decide whether we like them or not based on what we see. For a flirt, however, this means that we should also make a good impression on the outside.
That’s why the choice of clothing is so important. Always choose your outfit so that it is appropriate for the occasion and the location. So you should dress differently for a first date in a restaurant than if the date is taking place in a park or at a bowling alley. Incidentally, you can also stimulate your flirt partner’s imagination with your outfit, but more on that in the next section.
Stimulate the imagination
There are few things more exciting than using your imagination to visualise things. Leaving individual things to the imagination is therefore one of the icing on the cake of any flirtation. Exude an air of mystery, and you will ensure that the flirtation remains fascinating for the other person. For example, it would be counterproductive if you were to reveal all the details about yourself in the first conversation. The attraction here is that you will get to know each other better and better over time and learn more about each other. This prospect is considered one of the most fascinating aspects of flirting.
The perfect flirt rhythm
Finding the perfect timing when flirting is a special art. If you know when it’s time to push (escalate) the flirtation or pull back, you’re on the road to success. The trick is to understand how to correctly interpret the other person’s cues and adapt your behaviour accordingly. The right interpretation and reaction will also show you that the chemistry between you and your flirt partner is right, which is essential if you want to intensify your relationship, even if it’s just in the form of a hot night of wild sex. In any case, with the right timing, you can turn a casual encounter into an unforgettable moment.
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