The term kink or kinky usually refers to sexual preferences. Concepts or fantasies that are considered unusual by the majority of society and the prevailing norms around sex. The term is used colloquially and is usually associated with certain fetishes or BDSM practices, contrasting it with “vanilla”.
Kinks this, kinks that!
A kink, or “kinky-ness” is also often used in the context of sexual orientation or sexual identity. And can have different meanings depending on who is using it and the context in which it is used. The word “kink” has its origin in English and means something like “kink” or “kink”.
What does kinky mean?
The boundaries between “vanilla” and “Kink” vary greatly from person to person and from culture to subculture. Although “Kinky Sex” is often described in common parlance as bizarre or unusual (sexual) acts, the term can also encompass a wide range of playful practices and fantasies. Including those that are not exclusively BDSM.
These include activities such as role-playing, the use of sex toys and group sex. Which may be perceived by the majority as unusual or even repulsive. But are not exclusively limited to the BDSM realm. While the boundaries between these practices are often fluid. The term “kink” is clearly used in BDSM, both by those involved and those outside, to indicate a distinction from traditional sexual practices.
Although sexual acts are generally an element of “Kink“, sexual intercourse is not necessarily required. For example, a Dominus generally cannot have sex with his servant. But the exchange of power and control is clearly considered “Kinky“.
Fetishes and the acts associated with them are also often referred to as “Kinky“. Although the expression of a fetish is not always sexually motivated and can sometimes even replace interpersonal sexuality.
Important stance on the term
The term “Kinky” is often used to differentiate. Unfortunately, some people also use this term to portray themselves to others and their sex lives as better. More exciting, more progressive, more complex, more adventurous, etc. This can put a certain amount of pressure on others to perform, which should not be the purpose of sexuality.
In addition, the term “Kinky” is very subjective and ambiguous. If someone claims to be “kinky“, it is not automatically clear what is meant. Is it BDSM, spanking, humiliation, nappy fetish or something else entirely? And what is kinky for one person may be normal for another.
Although it can be helpful when getting to know someone if they describe themselves as “kinky” or “kinkster”, you should not go blindly into sexual acts. But clarify in a detailed conversation whether the preferences of both partners really match.
Kinkster – a little freer after all?
In addition to “Kinky” as an umbrella term, there is also the special type of “Kinkster” in the BDSM context. The advantage of this term is that although the person is involved in kinky activities such as power play, role play or sadism, and masochism wants to act out or explore fetishes, but can’t/won’t/won’t define her role exactly (yet) and rather lets herself drift curiously.
They are sexually adventurous people who like to participate in unconventional, kinky activities, such as engaging in S&M practices. They are flexible in the way they act out their pleasure and don’t tend to commit to a particular side of the powerfulness or put themselves in a particular status. Many Kinksters are so-called “Switchers” who can switch between different roles. Due to their preference for diversity and variety, Kinksters are often not exclusively in monogamous relationships, but may have a polyamorous disposition.
For kinksters it is important either to find a partner who is as adaptable as they are or to have a suitable relationship structure that allows them to explore and live out their many sides and interests.
Although they don’t like to be pigeonholed into a BDSM role or template and their play is less formalised, it is still important that they familiarise themselves with basic BDSM principles such as SSC and RACK and agree a safeword with their respective partners.
What should you keep in mind when acting out your kinks?
If you are interested in Kink or are already part of the Kink community, there are some important tips to keep in mind:
- Kink is not the same as abuse: kink and BDSM refer to consensual and conscious sexual expression between adults. It is important to ensure that all people involved give clear consent and feel safe and comfortable.
- Respect boundaries: Boundaries can change over time, but it is important to respect and communicate the boundaries of your partners and yourself. If someone says “no” or changes his/her boundaries, you should respect that and stop.
- Use safewords: Safewords are an important part of kink and BDSM. They should be agreed before each session and are used to create a safe and consensual environment where either person can stop play at any time.
- Know your tools: When engaging in kink practices, it is important to be aware of the tools you are using and how to use them correctly. Learn about safety precautions and potential risks to ensure you don’t cause injury.
- Find the right community: The kink community is diverse and there are many different types of kink. It is important to find a community that shares your interests and values, and where you feel safe and comfortable.
- Kink is not everything: It is important to remember that kink is only a part of your life and sexuality. It should not define your whole life or affect your self-esteem.
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