Most of you have heard of polyamory, but do you know what a polycule relationship is all about? If not, you’re not alone. Polycouples are the generic term for networks within polyamorous relationships and can be very complex. There are polycouples that you can barely get an overview of from the outside, and where even the people involved sometimes don’t even know how to describe their relationship. It doesn’t matter, as long as everything is okay for everyone and everyone is having a great time. Nevertheless, we would like to give you a deeper insight and introduce you to some polycouples.
Where does the term polycule come from?
We’ve all heard of molecules before, but what exactly are polycules? The term is made up of molecule and polyamory. It describes a (romantic) relationship that is not typically monogamous, but consists of several people. There are many different types of polycouples, and it is practically impossible to list them all. Many a member of a polycouple has difficulties defining and explaining their own relationship.
There is a very simple motto: as long as you feel love and have juice in your loins, you can expand polycouples ad infinitum!
Polyamory vs. polycule – what are the differences?
Although polyamory and polycules are closely related, they are not identical. You can be polyamorous without being part of a polycule. However, you cannot be part of a polycouple without also being polyamorous.
As a polyamorous person, you have the opportunity to enter into several relationships that don’t know each other. This doesn’t work in a polycouple because everyone is in contact with each other, even if it’s only remotely. They don’t necessarily all have to fuck each other, but they know about their existence and have some kind of relationship with each other.
Two simple examples of simple polycules
Let’s start with something simple and look at two polycules that are cool and straightforward.
- Polygamy: This polycule is when a person has multiple relationships with monogamous people. Imagine you are in a partnership with four horny guys, but each of them is exclusive to you. Your partners are not fucking anyone else and are not in a romantic relationship. This is considered polygamy and is a polycouple.
- Triangular relationship or triad: If three gays are in a relationship with each other, this is referred to as a triad. This is also a polycouple. Imagine you are in a relationship with two men who are also in a relationship with each other. The three of you have the same rights and the same status in your relationship, but you are exclusive to each other. This means that no fourth guy comes into play because your relationship is self-contained.
These two polycouples are common in the polyamorous scene and are easy to keep track of.
More complex polycule types and exciting structures
That was easy, wasn’t it? Now let’s have a look at what more complex polycule structures can look like. We’ll limit ourselves to the types that you can realistically encounter in the wild. If we were to list every structure here, you would probably still be puzzling and untangling in five weeks’ time.
The V as the counterpart to the triad
In a V-polycule, you are the main actor in a relationship with two people. These two people know about each other, but have no relationship with each other. Do you recognise the parallel to the triad? The difference is that your two partners are not socialising with each other, or are at most on friendly terms.
The quad is the increase of the triad
Three is not enough for you? Then why not try a quad? As the name suggests, you’re dealing with four main characters, or yourself and three others. All of you are in a relationship with each other, the four of you fuck, the four of you have the same sperm parties and are like a couple, just four of you.
The platonic polycouple
This type of polycouple goes beyond friendship, but does not include romantic love or sex. Many gays refer to such relationships as ‘family’, because you have common interests and are a piece of queer family that always sticks together. Platonic poly couples can consist of two, three, four or infinite people. The important thing is that the boundaries are there. Not just any gay person can join your polycule, because the connection is something special.
The polyfidelity polycule
Sounds complicated? But it’s not at all. Polyfidelity is part of polyamory and stipulates that the partnerships are exclusive. In such a polycouple, the members do not fuck outside the home, but only have sexual and romantic relationships with each other. This exclusivity is not enforced, but voluntary and desired by all participants.
Is there a hierarchy in polycouples?
For years, men (and women) have fought for relationships on an equal footing. Even in BDSM, the hierarchy is almost always limited to the bed; in a partnership, both partners are equal. This is also the case with polycoles.
In most cases, there is no relationship hierarchy, anarchy is practised. This means that everyone follows the same rules and has the same status within the relationship. If you are in a relationship with four partners and favour one or see him as your ‘main partner’, then there is a hierarchy. If, on the other hand, all four men are equally important to you, and you don’t favour anyone, then you live, love and fuck in anarchy.
When a hierarchy is helpful
There are situations and polycouples where it makes sense to establish a hierarchy. A good example is when two (or more) partners live together in a domestic partnership, have children or are financially intertwined. Here, it is common for such partnerships to have the highest priority.
A primary partnership also often remains in place when two men in a monogamous partnership decide to open up their relationship and bring a third person on board. The primary couple remains the original couple, but the third person takes on a subordinate role without being of less value. Hierarchies are about clearly structuring the connections and explaining where the boundaries are.
How to live and love in a polycule
Are you new to the world of polyamory and have the opportunity to join a polycule? Are you afraid of stress, jealousy and anger? Surprisingly, such problems are more common in monogamous relationships than in a polycouple. Nevertheless, we would like to give you some tips on how to become truly happy in a complex relationship:
- Be honest and tell your partners what moves you. Your feelings are not secrets and don’t have to be kept secret.
- Set boundaries for yourself and talk about them. A polycouple is only good if everyone involved feels completely comfortable.
- Keep in touch with the members of the polycouple, even if you’re not sleeping together. It’s nice to know who is part of your network.
- Meet up regularly and talk about whether you are still happy together and what you could improve.
Conclusion: Polycouples are exciting, thrilling and also a bit horny
You know how hot a partnership with regular blowjobs, arse fucking and much more can be. Imagine you don’t just have one such partnership, but two or three? Members of a polycouple can be sure of one thing: There will always be fucking, somehow and somewhere! To be part of a successful polycouple, don’t forget your own needs and desires. Such a relationship can work wonderfully if everyone thinks of themselves, but also of the others.
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