Many prejudices and half-truths surround the topic of anal fisting. Here, we aim to dispel the myths about fisting and provide some insight into the history of anal fisting. Dildos are already known from antiquity (6th century BC). From the depictions and descriptions, one must conclude that they served more to stimulate the partner voyeuristically than to satisfy oneself with them. The variety of forms was already quite pronounced at that time, for example, a vase painting shows a two-headed dildo. Already more than 3000 years ago, the Egyptians knew about the pleasure-increasing effect of dildos. In ancient China, artificial penises were made of porcelain. Dildos made of leather, wood, wax and glass followed. Today, these sex toys are mainly made of silicone, PVC, acrylic glass, aluminium and stainless steel. The so-called »dildo« was used in the 18th century as a medical aid to dilate the vagina before birth. In the same century, however, the Godemiché was invented, which was even constructed in such a way that it imitated male ejaculation.
A 20th century technique with roots in the past
It was only in the 1980s that fisting became popular enough for industrial manufacturing and widespread marketing. Michel Foucault claimed that fisting was the only thing the 20th century added to the sexual repertoire. Fisting as a mainstream practice with its own scene has developed in the last fifteen years. Edmund White and Charles Silverstein wrote about fisting in 1977, describing its dangers and its popularity within the sadomasochism subculture. Larry Kramer and Robert Mapplethorpe also explored fisting in their works. Knut Koch recalls that fisting came to Europe with the introduction of slings in saunas.
The term “fisting” refers to the practice’s origin in the USA, and alternative terms like fistfucking or handballing are sometimes used. Older fisters recall a simpler time when flushing wasn’t commonly considered, and bowel cleaning was a natural part of the experience. San Francisco became an epicenter for this “new movement” due to the concentration of gays who moved there in the 1960s, enabling diversification and exploration of different sexual variations. Fisting was seen as radical and provocative during the second sexual revolution that started around 1968.
In the 1980s, knowledge about fisting grew, including techniques using additives like tea, coffee, or drugs. With the rise of AIDS, fisting and other gay sexual practices declined in popularity. San Francisco’s status as a gay hub shifted, leading to a gradual loss of knowledge about fisting. Sex shops now offer various fisting-specific products. Despite myths surrounding fisting, the actual experience is far from violent, with misconceptions rooted in unfounded fears. The upcoming chapters explore the usefulness of fisting products and delve into the myths and realities surrounding the practice.
Fear, fear, fear
Accepting any kind of sex without judgment is challenging, and this is especially true for the practice of fisting. Fisting can be more instinct-driven and intellectually difficult to control compared to other sexual acts like penetration or oral sex. It raises questions about gender roles, personal beliefs, and societal acceptance. Unfortunately, openly embracing sexual practices such as fisting can hinder the social acceptance of homosexuality, as some straight individuals may find it repulsive. It is important to recognize that one’s sexual preferences and pleasure have no inherent connection to their sexual orientation.
There is hardly a more vicious and abusive grouping in our society than the gay scene. Every sexual preference, every way of dressing or giving oneself is immediately met with a dirty word. So fisters are called fist-elses (harmless) or fist-kühe (already not so nice). But what is worse is that people who enjoy playing with their fists are accused of all kinds of pathological things: that only old men who can’t get it off or up anymore get fisted, that all fisters are HIV-positive or have to wear nappies because they have become incontinent.
Only old people fist!
Many believe that fisting is just a logical consequence of years of anal intercourse. Because a rosette can no longer hold tension due to a lot of ramming, a fist must be used. But that is complete nonsense. Enjoying being fucked does not lead to a worn-out sphincter muscle, provided you do it properly.
It hurts like hell!
… Is a subjective assessment. Yes, hardly anyone will claim that being fisted only made him horny from the start. Being stretched is a new feeling. That it is experienced as pleasurable and horny is proven by thousands of fisters every day. Perhaps you will soon be one of them. In the beginning, however, you need a certain affinity for pain, a willingness to get involved with sensations that you would first judge as painful and then reinterpret them for yourself.
Only leather men fist!
Fisting is usually portrayed as brutal. A fist is slammed into your butt, your cheeks are spread, and at some point half your intestines are hanging out … Fisting is an extreme sport for which you have to have a penchant for pain. Pain can only be endured by real men, leather men. But even that is utter nonsense. Fisting requires much less the pleasure of pain than the ability to relax, to let go of thoughts, to surrender. And this is best done by those who practise meditation, remote relaxation methods. That can be leather men, of course, but also any other kind of man.
They get fisted because they can’t get it up!
In fact, it is very common to see that fistes (i.e. those who are fisted) do not have a hard-on while their partner has his arm inside them. This is not because of an inability to have an erection, but because as a fistee you are so busy with your ass and the sensations that flood your whole body that you lose your erection. But that’s not a problem because an erection is not necessary when fisting anyway.
Whoever fists will become infected with HIV sooner or later!
Also not true. If you don’t put yourself in a sling at any random place and let strangers go through you, if you choose experienced partners, use gloves and don’t share lubricants or sex toys, you don’t run a greater risk of infection than with other sex practices.
Fisting is dirty!
Of course. You shove your hand in where all sorts of things usually come out. But you can spülen before fisting. And if you do it right, you spare your partner the dark side of fisting. But I have to admit something: Fisting only works with lots of sloppy lube. As a rule, it’s always a real mess. It’s hard to protect yourself from that. So if you don’t want to mess up your fingers, if you prefer sex in dry clothes, you won’t be happy here.
Whoever fists, also likes shit!
It seems obvious to label people who poke others in the ass as scat lovers (scat fans). Our own experience is enough to disprove this. Most people don’t feel the need to deal with excrement in any detail, nor do they come across anything similar while travelling through other people’s bottoms. Rarely does a fistula stay relaxed in its sling when »something« slips in. Most jump up quite zügig to catch up.
Fisting makes you incontinent!
No way. If you are conscious and careful with yourself and your sphincter muscle, if you respect its natural limits, no negative consequences are to be expected. On the contrary, fisting helps you to control your sphincter better.
Fisting is only for real guys!
For this killer argument par excellence, some kind of outdated gender role model is always cited: »Only women get fucked!« – »Being active is male!« – »Fisting is only for men!« What is this nonsense? Anyone who makes such statements is either revealing themselves to be a fool (because they parrot the thoughts of others without thinking) or as someone who has not yet found their own gender identity. Who else would have to feel so desperate to belong to one gender or to be different from the other?
Fisters are obsessive!
The fisting hobby is shared by very different characters. One comes across pretty much all occupational groups. The fact that women or heterosexual men also get fisted shows that there must be something more to this practice than unconscious homophobia (also a popular myth). And by no means are all fisters compulsive. This psychological term is applied to people who are pedantically precise, always keep order, for whom a speck of dust on the glass table triggers a hysterical fit.
»Any form of sexualityät deviates from the norm, because there is no one norm.« (specialist in psychiatry, sexual medicine and psychotherapist Dr. David Goecker in Siegessäule 4/12)
Truths
- Don’t be put off by prejudices or silly sayings
- If you enjoy fisting, whether in an active or passive capacity, enjoy it and let others talk!
- Otherwise, check the statements of others against reality
- Make your own experiences instead of giving too much credence to the words of others
- Speak instead of thinking!
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