In BDSM, the first D stands for Discipline. Which describes one of the six main areas of BDSM, alongside dominance. The word “discipline” comes from the Latin word “disciplina”, which means “teaching”, “discipline” and “systematic order”. In BDSM, it’s about a submissive person being shaped and moulded to another person’s desires through rules and rituals.
Punish me!
Discipline is an important aspect of BDSM and describes the area in which a submissive person is shaped and conformed to the desires of another person through rules and rituals. Various means can be used to carry out discipline, including corporal punishment and rewards. However, it is important to emphasise that these practices take place within agreed boundaries and are based on voluntaries and consent of the persons involved.
A fluid transition often exists in educational games, which also occur in other areas such as D/s dynamics. These games involve a dominant person educating the submissive person. In order to control their ability and make them conform to the needs of the dominant partner.
It is understandable that some people think of cruel childhood memories or manipulation when they think of discipline and (body)punishment. The difference in BDSM, however, is that all activities are voluntary and consensual. Both partners agree in advance on the framework and boundaries within which the disciplining and education should take place.
An important aspect of disciplining is self-discipline. The sub must be willing to follow certain rules and control body and mind rather than be overpowered by impulses. Overall, discipline in BDSM can be seen as a tool to help the dom put the submissive in a certain role or position.
Difficulties in implementing discipline in BDSM
In the context of discipline in BDSM, the dominant part has the responsibility to set demanding rules and to consistently monitor their compliance. In case of violations, it is important to react appropriately in order to maintain the integrity of the established construct. The submissive part must show basic discipline. And strive to fulfil the dominant partner’s ideas to the best of its ability. If violations are not punished, the submissive partner will always question the framework of the construct. Which is a natural human behaviour.
For the submissive part, discipline means not only following rules that contradict one’s own desires or natural drives, but also consciously deciding against an impulse or resisting a need. This requires a painstaking learning process, but it helps to strengthen the relationship between the partners and to deepen trust.
How do you discipline someone?
The discipline can be used to encourage or strengthen the discipline of the bottom. If there is a rule violation or neglect of training towards a specific goal, discipline can be used to get the learning process back on track.
It is important to emphasise, however, that discipline should not only be aimed at punishment or chastisement. But should also include positive reinforcement. Praise and recognition for progress made are also important tools. When it comes to punishment, it should be directly related to the offence and give the person concerned the opportunity to improve.
It is also important to note what exactly counts as a rule violation. If the bottom has tried everything to achieve the goal but still fails, it is not a violation. It is the task of the top to recognise whether the opponent is not showing discipline or is merely not achieving the set goal.
Difference between submission and discipline
The distinction between discipline and D/s-feeling can be difficult in BDSM practice, as some aspects of both can overlap. Discipline can be understood as a means of enforcing rules and rituals to make a submissive person conform to another person’s wishes. In the D/s relationship, on the other hand, the focus is on hierarchy. Where one partner has control over the other.
An example of submission could be that the submissive partner takes on the role that the dominant partner specifies. For example, as a slave or disciple, and submits to the instructions of the dominant partner.
An example of discipline can be that the submissive part has to follow certain rules and regulations. These rules may, for example, dictate how the submissive part is to dress or how he has to do certain tasks. Or when and how he has to perform sexual acts. If the submissive violates these rules, the dominant can use disciplinary measures such as corporal punishment or denial of rewards to correct the submissive’s behaviour.
Specifically, the difference between discipline and D/s behaviour can be stated as when the top instructs the sub to engage in sextoy. If the sub obeys the top’s command, it is a D/s constellation. However, if the top makes a rule that the sub must insert a toy every day at a certain time, and the top then checks whether the sub follows this rule, this is an example of Discipline.
When using punishments in the D/s context, a distinction is made between disciplinary measures, such as gagging if a certain prohibition is disobeyed, and punishments, such as a slap in the face if the sub disobeys.
Bottom line
It is important to note that the boundaries between Discipline and D/s Discipline can be blurred. And that practices in both areas should be based on consent and voluntarily. Discipline can be used in a D/s constellation as a tool to reinforce the hierarchy. While D/s gradient requires a dominant person to exert control over the submissive person.
- Discipline in BDSM means that rules and regulations must be followed
- The submissive part must submit to the instructions of the dominant part and control his or her behaviours
- If the submissive part breaks the rules, the dominant part can take disciplinary action to correct the behaviour
- Disciplinary measures may include corporal punishment such as spanking or other forms of punishment
- It is important that all activities in BDSM are consensual and voluntary and are carried out within agreed boundaries
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