Maybe it has already happened to you that you meet a man who you immediately like. And who you find sexually attractive because of his masculine charisma. But when it comes to a physical encounter, you realise that the other person’s genital area is different to what you expected. This means that your partner may be equipped with a vagina, an enlarged clitoris has replaced the penis. Or the penis has a slightly different appearance than is normally the case. If this is the case, you have probably had your first sexual contact with an FTM. This article will explain what this means and what special features await you during sex with an FTM.
What does FTM actually mean?
In order to understand what it can mean when you have sex with an FTM, it is useful to know what the FTM label actually means and why it is needed. Transidentity or transsexuality or transsexualism (from the Latin trans = over, beyond; and sexus = gender) is when people cannot, or cannot fully, identify with the gender assigned to them at birth.
This means that a person born as a man feels like a woman. And a person born as a woman feels like a man. This results in the desire to be seen and accepted as such by society. Very often, these people are under increasing pressure due to the discrepancy between their physical characteristics and their inner feelings. Which is why many strive for a physical and social transformation towards their chosen gender.
This is where the acronym FTM (also FtM) gains significance, as it stands for “Female to Male“. FTM is used to describe the transition of trans men, mostly in a medical and legal context. However, some trans people do not use this term to describe themselves or others and reject it. The reason for this is that it suggests that a person’s gender is changed during transition. Many prefer to describe themselves as a man with a transsexual past.
Gender reassignment surgery for FTMs
Many FTMs opt for so-called gender reassignment surgery in order to have a more masculine appearance overall and also in the genital area. If you have sex with a man with a transsexual past, you should be aware that you will probably be confronted with one of two possible variants.
Clitorispenoid (clitpen for short)
The most uncomplicated, medically simple variant is the so-called clitoral hood (clitorispenoid). In which the clitoris is stretched or enlarged and ultimately serves as a penis substitute. A clitoris is also sensitive to stimulation and is able to stiffen when sexually aroused. The special feature of this form of anaesthesia is that the vagina remains fully intact. And can be penetrated during sex
can be penetrated. What may seem unusual at first glance during sex between two men, however, also opens up new possibilities in terms of satisfaction. Especially if the FTM sees himself as the bottom. In this case, as the active partner, you have the choice of whether you satisfy your partner vaginally or anally.
Phalloplasty
During phalloplasty, doctors create a penis from the body’s own tissue (usually from the forearm or groin). Later, inserted silicone testicles and an erectile prosthesis can ensure almost full functionality. This means that your partner can perform anal sex on you at any time with his phalloplasty. An FTM even has advantages here because his penis is ready for use at the touch of a button.
Mastectomy
For men with a transsexual past, a male breast is part of their appearance. For this reason, removing the female breast is in many cases the first step towards a male appearance. To do this, they have a mastectomy and a male breast is created by lifting and nipple reduction. By taking male hormones and exercising, the appearance can be changed even more, as the hormones stimulate hair and beard growth and strength training ensures more pronounced muscles.
Sextoys for FTMs
When having sex with an FTM, you can basically proceed in the same way as when having sex with a cis man. You can use your penis, your tongue or your fingers. Toys are also a good idea, for example an adjustable cock ring, which is placed around the clitoris, which increases in size over time due to testosterone, making it bigger and penetration easier.
For many, an exciting sex experience includes skilful stimulation of the prostate. FTMs will probably also enjoy it if you use them with a prostate vibrator, for example.
There are now also so-called clitoral stimulators. With these, the clitoris is inserted into a small opening, where it is stimulated. However, you can also simply do this exciting task with your tongue or fingers and bring your partner to climax without a toy.
What does sexual climax look like with FTMs?
If you have sex with a man with a transsexual past, he will of course have an orgasm. The hormones or hormone blockers taken will not interfere with the ability to orgasm. However, the ejaculation will unfortunately not occur, so your partner will experience a dry climax. If he decides not to have a phalloplasty, the associated closure of his vagina, sexual intercourse is still possible and there is still the possibility of pregnancy. This only occurs after a hysterectomy, or adnectomy, i.e. the removal of the uterus and fallopian tubes.
It is sometimes reported that the type of sensation experienced by FTMs during orgasm changes when they undergo gender reassignment surgery. The way in which this feeling is shaped is influenced by several factors, which can be of a physical or psychological nature. Even if certain sensations change, the basic ability to orgasm usually remains the same.
Perception as an important topic in FTM sex
As already mentioned, the ability to have children remains intact as long as the birth mother has not been removed. This means that you should definitely use condoms if you have sexual intercourse with an FTM with whom this is the case. In addition, you are both protecting yourself from sexually transmitted STIs such as HIV, gonorrhoea or similarly unpleasant STIs. However, if you are deliberately trying to get your partner pregnant, you can of course skip the contraception. The same applies if you are no longer able to conceive, and you are in a monogamous and faithful relationship.
Openness as a basic condition for exciting sex with FTMs
Many gay men have concerns, or rather fears in the truest sense of the word, when it comes to having sex with men who have a transgender past. Often there is probably also the fear of being ridiculed by other men or being seen as not really gay if it becomes known that you have had sex with an FTM. You shouldn’t let such fears stop you. You certainly need to be open to the unknown. It also always makes sense to talk to the FTM and openly share your thoughts, fears and anxieties, but also your possible wishes. Many FTMs also make a point of clearly communicating what to expect from their sexual partner before a possible sexual experience. This helps to clarify whether you are ready to engage in sex with an FTM.
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