What actually is an “open” relationship?
In order for your partnership to be called an open relationship, it needs two conditions above all. Firstly, you and your partner must agree that you are both allowed to have sex outside your basic relationship. Furthermore, it is absolutely necessary that both of you have explicitly expressed your consent. According to various estimates, about one per cent of all partnerships are currently truly open relationships. And about three per cent are considered “pseudo-open” relationships according to scientific opinion. In this case, one of the two partners claims sexual freedom. Whereas the other does not agree with such an arrangement.
What is important in an open relationship among gays is the knowledge that it is primarily about horny sex with men outside the relationship. So the splashy adventures have nothing to do with love, but are merely about sexual satisfaction.
Grands for an open relationship
If you ask men why they want an open relationship, the answer is very often that they can have sexual experiences in this way that are not possible with their actual partner. Maybe you feel the same way. You may have a sexual fantasy that you can’t have with your boyfriend. Such as a preference for BDSM, a passion for role-playing or a desire for poppers. If your partner doesn’t share the same likes and dislikes, this can lead to difficulties sooner or later.
Another reason could be a clear age difference between you. If one of you is much older and perhaps no longer as sexually “ready for action”, there is at least a risk that the younger partner will miss out. In such a case, it can make sense to set broader boundaries for the partnership. And then make it an open relationship. Of course, there are tools available today that can help your potency. Try these first. If they don’t help, there is still time to talk about the possibility of an open partnership.
Open relationship among gays: it doesn’t work without communication
The idea that your partner is passionately doing it with another guy can be quite stressful and lead to jealousy. For this reason, it’s a good idea that you or your partner don’t just go for it. But first talk about the subject in detail. Trust is important, and in order to strengthen it, you must both be clear that an open relationship is ultimately only a change in the status quo in terms of sex. But ultimately, does not change your love for each other.
First and foremost, you should openly discuss what is possible and what is impossible in this form of partnership. This means that you have to find rules for such sex meetings with other men.
Open relationships need clear rules
Once you and your partner have decided to try an open relationship, it is time to define what works and what doesn’t. Even among couples who occasionally bring a third party into bed, there are such guidelines. For example, some partners don’t want their boyfriend to be fucked by a stranger. Others object to too passionate a kiss with an external sex partner. And others don’t like being fucked without a condom.
Such rules and more should be established in an open relationship. For example, it makes sense that neither of you has sex with mutual friends. You should also clarify whether your shared flat can be used for such sex adventures. We don’t think this is a good idea. Because there is a risk that you will suddenly burst into your partner’s sex date.
Whether you can have sex with someone only once at a time or meet them several times or other games is also important. Many agree on one-time sex meetings to reduce the risk of falling in love.
“What I don’t know doesn’t make me hot.”
One of the rules for an open relationship is to agree on the extent to which you inform each other about upcoming or past sex encounters with other men. Your partner may prefer not to know exactly who you are having sex with. But if he asks, you should be open about it. And show him that there are no secrets between you and that it’s really just about sex.
Commitment in an open relationship – protection for you and your partner
As long as you and your partner are only sexually active within your relationship, you can be completely unaware of each other’s activities. Swallow each other’s cum or shoot it up your partner’s arse. But if you’re in an open relationship, it comes with an obligation to protect yourselves and your partner from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like HIV, hepatitis, syphilis or gonorrhoea. The best way to do this is to use condoms, which should be compulsory when having sex outside the partnership.
If you or your partner want to live out your passion for cum, the rule should be that this only happens with sex partners who are demonstrably healthy. In addition, if you are in an open relationship, both of you should be checked at regular intervals and the appropriate tests should be carried out. If all protective measures have not been successful, the other partner must be informed. In this case, the entire love life within the couple and also the external love life should be put on hold for the duration of the treatment.
If you or your partner don’t want to give up sex despite your illness, there are always nice toys that you can both enjoy together. There are numerous toys for passionate anal play, intense cock play or literally exciting electro play. So, with all the horny sex dates with other men, you won’t forget your current partner and can show him how much you love him.
Do not neglect your partner
Although one of the reasons for an open relationship is the diversity of sexual interests, you should always make sure that your partner is not neglected. Everyone likes the basic sexual activities, from cuddling to blowing to fucking, and you should not stop practising them together despite an open relationship. Therefore, it’s best to set times or days when you are completely focused on your partner and enjoy sex with him or her.
Such times with your partner should not be limited to sex, either. After all, you are in a relationship and in such a relationship, sexual pleasure is an important element, but not the only one. Spending time together makes the partners realise that it is ultimately mutual love on which a relationship is based. Even an open partnership.
In such moments spent together it is also important to talk openly about your feelings, to exchange longings, wishes and goals. This also includes all thoughts about the form of relationship you are living. Because of this openness, you minimise the risk of deep-seated tensions or even jealousy in your partnership. Nothing is worse than pent-up feelings and unspoken worries.
Pros and cons of an open relationship
People who are for an open relationship are of the opinion that in such a partnership the partners are very often more honest with each other and there is no cheating. In addition, there are far fewer secrets between the partners because there is no need for secrecy.
An additional advantage of an open relationship is that this form of partnership often leads to an upgrading of the emotional level of the relationship. You stand firmly by the side of the person you love, even though your sexual preferences may be different.
One very common argument for an open relationship is that it is extremely exciting. Because it is exciting to search for a sexual partner who fits your own horny ideas. Many also appreciate the security within the “basic relationship” to which one can return after a sex date without a guilty conscience.
Where there are advantages, there are also disadvantages. Knowing these can be important for the decision. Against an open relationship is that this form of partnership is usually extremely communication-intensive because it doesn’t work without an open exchange between you and your partner. Furthermore, rules have to be found that are acceptable to you and your partner. Only if you are both happy with them will the rules sustain the relationship. Although it is often said, there is jealousy even in open relationships. Many couple therapists are of the opinion that love without fidelity is even more prone to jealousy.
In an open relationship, time management is essential. Planning and scheduling sex dates with other men requires even more attention. Stay organized and make sure to prioritize and carefully manage your calendar.
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