Diary books can certainly have positive effects on mental health. Why is that? It’s quite simple. For many people, keeping a sex journal is part of their daily self-care routine. It helps to organise and process your own thoughts, feelings and dreams. A diary helps you to see things more clearly, both professionally and privately. However, one area is often left out, namely your sex life. Have you ever thought about keeping a sex journal?
What are the advantages of a sex journal?
Keeping a sex journal has several advantages. You take more care of your sexual health and can learn more about your hottest, perhaps secret fantasies. You’ll also learn more about your sex drive and by writing it down, you’ll even have the opportunity to improve communication between you and your partner(s). A sex journal can therefore be very helpful in getting to know yourself and your sexual preferences better, processing your sexual experiences, and also recognising health risks.
What a sex journal is and how to keep it
Simply put, a sex journal is your very own personal notebook in which you record all your sexual experiences. You document all sexual encounters, sexual dreams and also changes in your libido, i.e. your sex drive. The notes can help you to recognise signs of sexual dysfunction, for example. You can keep such a sex journal either physically or in digital form. If you use a physical notebook, make sure you keep it safe so that only you have access to it.
After all, your sex journal contains your most intimate secrets, perhaps your preference for rough male sex with sex toys or your passion for anal sex without condoms. Such information must be protected. If you prefer to keep your journal digitally, you can do this in the form of a simple Word file or with the help of apps. Here too, however, you should make sure that no one can access your horny little thoughts.
Content – questions to ask yourself as an introduction to your sex journal
As an introduction to keeping a sex journal, you can ask yourself various questions for the purpose of personal reflection. For example, you could ask yourself what made you the horniest during your last sex session or how it felt to push yourself to the limits of your comfort zone during sex. Also ask yourself what else you might have wanted or whether there were certain things your partner said or did to you during sex that aroused you, triggered a fantasy or put you off. There are many questions you can ask yourself to find out how you felt during sex. There are no wrong questions here, each has its place and can give you more insight into your personality.
In your sex journal, include real experiences as well as dreams and fantasies. Record masturbation sessions, noting how it felt and marking uncomfortable moments. This creates a body map of your erogenous zones. You can also use this method to explore your partner’s preferences. Your journal captures all types of sex, including those that exist solely in your imagination. These entries provide valuable insight into your desires. Remember, fantasies don’t always require action. You have the choice to decide which ones you want to bring to life.
Create a sexual menu
Your favourite meal is the pasta bake with meat sauce at your favourite Italian restaurant? That’s fine, but don’t you fancy a different dish at a different restaurant from time to time? It’s the same with sex. It might make you particularly horny when your partner gives you a blowjob in the shower. But honestly, doesn’t it make you just as horny when you imagine fucking your boyfriend in a changing room or a public toilet?
Then maybe it’s time to create a whole new sex menu in your sex journal that includes all the practices, places and even times that would spice up your sex life. How about an appetiser of passionate snogging and a long blowjob, a good deep fuck as the main course and some cuddling or a bath together as dessert? Just give it a try and make a note of such a menu. It can be a basis for an exchange with your partner. They may already have had the same ideas in mind.
Daily, weekly, monthly – How to keep a sex journal
Many people have got into the habit of making entries in their diary daily, weekly or even after longer periods of time. You can also keep your sex journal using the same principle, depending on time, desire and memory. For daily entries, you should describe each individual experience in detail. This also includes the feelings and thoughts you had during each type of play you practised. This will help you learn a lot about yourself and recognise what you like best or least. If you want to find out more about how your sex drive, desires and fantasies change, try weekly or even monthly sessions. Unlike daily entries, you don’t have to write down every detail. A list of questions, the answers to which will help you to get to know and understand your sexual desires better, is also sufficient.
Keep a sex diary alone or as a couple?
You can record your most secret thoughts in a sex journal and can be sure that no one will see them if you don’t want them to. However, there are also couples who keep such a sex journal together. In this case, complete honesty and a high level of trust are necessary. Because where you are only confronted with your own inner world when keeping a sex diary alone, with a joint diary you also get to know your partner’s sexual needs, dreams and fantasies. This can be a challenge for your relationship, especially if your partner has different ideas about what hot sex should look like.
If you keep a sex journal with your partner, there are several rules you should follow. Firstly, the journal should of course be accessible to both of you so that everyone can make entries. In addition, a jointly kept sex journal only makes sense if you are both allowed to read not only your own entries, but also those of the other person. If you don’t want to do this, you should keep a sex journal independently of each other. Then you both have the opportunity to only disclose what you are willing to.
|