t’s unlikely that you’re doing it for the first time, because many people discover their bodies before they learn to read, but we don’t want to leave anyone out in the cold here. Therefore: Here are the wanking basics – welcome to the club! The initiation ritual follows:
Make sure you’re undisturbed. So retreat to the attic, the coal cellar or the chicken coop and make sure that no beeping mobile phones or prying eyes will disturb this sacred moment. Don’t tell anyone about it. You’ll only arouse curiosity and provoke troublemakers. In addition, the (pre)judgements of others could confuse and influence you on your journey of discovery. This moment belongs to you alone, you have the right to awaken the pleasure in your body, to elicit pleasurable stimuli from your body and to lead yourself to orgasm. No law and no person (not grandma, not priest, not biology teacher) may prevent you from doing so.
Your FIRST TIME – wanking basics
And now the most important thing: Have a cloth at hand! If you are old enough to spill sperm (12, 13, 14), you should be able to wipe it off afterwards.
Are you comfortable? Is it warm enough so that you don’t freeze? Is it quiet enough so you don’t get distracted? Good. Now you are ready for action. Now let your body guide you. The quickest way to provoke arousal is to fiddle with your primary genitals, i.e. your cock and balls. But don’t limit yourself to that. As soon as you feel a tingling sensation somewhere, stroke other parts of your body to wake them up. The nipples are crying out for attention – or do you have a better reason why nature has painted them in alarm colours? This is not true for the armpits (I’m talking about the colour now), but they are still very sensitive to touch. The back of your knees, your loins, the whole area under (or behind) your balls, up to your ass. Start with the…
Wanking basics – Positions
Sometimes circumstances simply dictate which position you play with yourself in. At night in a tent camp surrounded by a horde of snoring scouts, you won’t exactly be doing acrobatic ¨bics, though …
Back
You lie on your back and noodle away. That’s how more than two-thirds of all men prefer to do it, about 10 per cent standing up or on their knees, the rest on their stomach. But no more boredom! It also works in the…
Cradle
Lift your legs up as if you were going to shove something up your bottom, then reach under your legs for your noodle with your hand. Or put your legs up, your feet together, but let your knees fall to one side each. As you come, you can then bring your knees together, even using them as a natural pump to direct blood (and energy) out of your abdomen and into your whole body.
Sitting
For example, on a chair. A disadvantage is that the tail is shorter in this position, because the base of the tail is pulled into the chest. It’s also not good that the trousers get stuck unless you pull them down completely first. And when the sperm splatters on it, it leaves nasty spots, for which you will get nasty looks from mummy (from the secretary or the life-guide). However, precisely because the position is rather difficult, the sense of achievement is all the greater when you get the thing rocked anyway.
Apropos rocking. This is of course the super position if you like to hang a few weights on your neck. What, you don’t know this yet? Well, then you can look forward to some fun and games… But more about that later.
Back to the seat position: It’s worth trying it out, because what do you do when you’re on the road with your car, and you’ve just received a sexy text message? What, you don’t get any horny text messages? You definitely need to get yourself some sex friends. Sitting on the chair, you can spread your legs and see what that does to you!
Also, sitting on the floor is not so easy during your break – unless you are a writer and have your own office. Sitting on the floor has the decisive disadvantage that you are guaranteed to mess up your tie. Or do you have adequate sperm pressure so that you can shoot straight into your mouth? Trying it cross-legged is guaranteed to help you delay your cum. Read more about this in the release techniques.
Squat
If you ever get the urge to go for a walk in the woods (»Daddy, go ahead, I’ve just discovered a great mushroom!«). Unfortunately, you have to take your clothes off to do this, because your trousers hinder your legroom. So squat down, spread your legs as wide as you can, and off you go. Alternatively, you can reach under your legs. This way you spank your balls at the same time as you jerk off, cool!
Try’s first with absolute motionlessness of the legs, so no butt circling or bobbing or whatever else presents itself. Concentrate solely on your cock. This is a great way to strengthen your calf and face muscles without the need for a fitness trainer. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Even coming. That’s exactly the kick of this position. All the deeper the »Uuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!« if you’manage it anyway.
If you think this position is nonsense, then tell me a better one where you can ride a dildo at the same time? Hm, don’t come with the saying “I can push it in standing up and put the dildo on the sink”, because if there isn’t one nearby? You see!
Tender side effect: You strengthen your PC muscle, which is so important for good sex. PC muscle? More on that later.
Lateral position
You should use the side position if only because you need it if you forgot to roll your bed before going to bed but are too lazy or too horny to get up (don’t worry, your rug will be dry again by morning!). – oh, you didn’t know why some people have these things lying in front of the bed? Child!). Even more exciting when you can’t use your usual wanking hand because you – or your partner – is lying on it. And last but not least, think outside the box and remember that you might want to be fucked in this position another time (allows for relaxed penetration). If you don’t have an anal orgasm at hand, you might want to plane one …
On all fours
The standard repertoire also includes the mastery of rubbing on all fours – when you should jerk off together (position 69), give the other person a blowjob or let yourself be fucked. Yes, yes, you are not passive. Nobody here is eye roll. But you could suddenly discover such gels, get jacked up, well, and then the jerking off on all fours should already work. The most difficult thing is the question of your strength. Can you jerk off on one hand for half an hour? Good, then you won’t need to go to the gym.
Stomach position
It’s hard to believe, but lying on your stomach also works quite well. Lie on your stiff cock and rub up and down on it until it gets wet. This is also the decisive disadvantage of this position: the sheets will be hard as a board within a few days. Putting plastic sheets underneath works rather badly, because they crackle quite unerotically and slip constantly. But just before changing the sheets every year, this is a good thing to do. Alternative: rubber sheets (cheaper: pond liner from the DIY store), delicious warm lubricant underneath and yoo-hoo! With lube you also avoid your delicious bushy belly fur getting tangled in the foreskin. You can also put your hands between the bed and your cock. This is better for those who have a long foreskin. However, this doesn’t necessarily prevent the mess with the slobber afterwards.
While kneeling
Different positions cause different muscles to tense, which in turn alters the flow of energy during orgasm. That’s why you should try it on your knees for a change. You will need this at the latest when you want to suck someone off in a (changing or gondola) cabin. Try different positions here too, from kneeling upright to sitting back on your heels! Finally, you have to adapt to the size of your partner’s body.
In this position you can also reach under your legs with one hand and polish your piston. The other hand can reach the sack and rosette wonderfully in this way. If this is too strenuous for you, you can rest your head on the floor, the bed or a (confessional) chair to relieve the pressure on your upper body. With a little übung you can splash your face wonderfully in this position.
Sitting sideways on your knees (in a lady’s seat or like the little mermaid) is not only chic, but an interesting alternative. If you find it difficult to kneel, support yourself with one arm on a chair –a slave chair will do’too if necessary.
Tumbling around backwards
The more flexible among us can also try a somersault in the back: lie down, fold your legs back over your head and lay them down next to your ears. For older students, this is quite strenuous.
If you can’t do it, push yourself off a wall with your feet, so the sperm is guaranteed to fly around your ears. Or in your mouth, gulp.
While standing
Before we get all complicated here, don’t forget that it should also work standing up. At the very latest, you will be challenged when you have your first flap sex (sex in public toilets), in the park or while waiting in line at the employment office. Therefore, practise, practise, practise.
You still need a reason why you should have different positions in your repertoire? You never know what situations you will get into. If you are not prepared, you miss opportunities. In a sauna, you might have to manage it with one foot on the seat to protect your stiff dick from prying eyes. You think you can’t jerk off in front of other people without them noticing? You’ll learn that, too.
Grips in the wanking basics
In each position listed above, you can use different holds. Here is a small selection, which by no means claims to be complete. It is only meant to inspire you to find more (maybe even under someone else’s covers?!).
One-finger method
Hold your cock firmly with one hand and use just one finger of the other to massage the tender little skin that connects the glans to the shaft until you yeepeeh squirt. Pre-juice, spit, lubricant make this more pleasant.
Two-finger method
With the two-finger method, you take your cock between your fingers like a fruit roll, a croissant, or a log. Since this grip only covers a small area of your cock, it allows you a lot of room to rub it, and you can determine the pressure on your cock more individually than with your fist. Depending on the length of the cock, it can be extended to three to five fingers.
Ringing method
With the ring method, you form a ring (okay sign) with your index finger and thumb and wrap it around your wiener. This is suitable even for very small pippis – but it doesn’t mean that the oxtail has to do without it. This method imitates – though sparsely – the feeling of piercing a tight sphincter (ass).
The Hook
Form a hook with your index finger and place it around the tail. The backs of the other fingers massage the shaft from the top.
The thumb
Instead of gripping the stiff cock with a closed fist, fold the thumb inwards so that the top of the first limb is against the top of the cock.
Eat the tail
Put your index finger to the underside, middle finger to the top of your cock and jerk it like this.
The prick grip
Instead of just rubbing up and down, you can also position your hand towards your cock so that your fingers are against your body. When you rub back on your cock, you are poking the tissue around the base of your cock. This is a good way for small pippies to have a longer tail feeling.
The Fist
Close your cock as if you were gripping a baseball bat. Slide your closed hand (fist) back and forth along the shaft. This grip offers maximum friction contact, which for most means maximum pleasure. However, it only works well if the piller is significantly longer than the width of the hand.
The double fist …
… requires small hands (no children’s hands please!) or a long tube. Form both hands into a fist, place them on top of each other and insert the noodle.
Rack hand
Then there is the backhand. If you’re thinking of tennis now, it’s kinky, but not that far-fetched. Wrap your cock like a tennis racket so that the glans sticks out of the back of your hand. This way you can also jerk off comfortably from the side of the bed, a technique that should be mastered by anyone who spends their nights in sleeping rooms. But don’t forget to wipe it up before your roommate slips on it and breaks his neck!
Stomach pen
When you are lying on your back, you can put your stiff cock on your belly and rub it up and down as if you were trying to rub away a stomachache. This is a good technique for hiding the wank from fellow sluts. Hairy pussies should have an easier time with lube.
More pressure can be applied with two hands in parallel or one on top of the other. Alternatively, you can use the soft skin on the inside of your elbow. This is a great way to wank without anyone noticing.
Wanking prayer
Worshipful is to fold your hands in prayer and put your tail between them. Depending on whether you place your thumbs at the side or around the tail and how tightly you squeeze, different stimuli will be created.
Wanking Basics Techniques
Each of the above grips can be varied in many ways. For one thing, you can apply different amounts of pressure (if you’ve ever had yourself wanked, you’ll know that everyone does it differently). Secondly, the rubbing speed makes a big difference. There are the pleasure jerk-offs who jerk off very slowly or the jerk-offs with hyperspeed that makes you dizzy.
Both have their advantages: slowness promotes mindfulness. Sensations are perceived more precisely. The fast scrubbing method requires more power and therefore has something very masculine, horny, animalistic, powerful. In alternating play, it’s not stupid either: rub until just before the explosion, then switch down to super slow. As soon as the excitement subsides, go full steam ahead again – by the way, this is a good way to learn to control your ejaculation (more later).
Rodeojerk
Sounds super-modern and gets the best of both worlds. Rub fast a few times and then go really slow for a few strokes before kicking it up a gear again. It’s especially cool when you’re wanking over someone and they’re watching you from below. Makes you super manly. It’s also a great way to control your arousal curve.
Wu Hisen
The legendary tantric master Wu Hisen passed on the following technique to his students. It is designed to gain control over one’s arousal curve. Since gay men cum on average after the 54th fore-and-aft, this exercise is a real challenge:
Jerk off three times »flat« (i.e. fast), then one time slowly, then repeat this 81 times. Then you wank five times fast and one time slow and repeat that 81 times too. And finally you wank nine times fast and one time slow, again 81 times.
After that, unscrew the cock and put it in a bath (joke!).
The Wave
Let’s work with your imagination: Think of the sea, gently lapping and slowly building up until large waves crash against the shore. These then recede and ebb away again. Do the same with your sausage: rub it gently and softly, just as the sea licks the shore. Then let a weather front approach. As the waves get bigger, you increase your jerking activity, rocking yourself up and up, jerking harder and harder and faster. Then, when you have reached your climax (without squirting!), you slowly stop.
Play with different storm strengths and wind speeds. If you now stand against the storm, i.e. wank slowly and gently when your arousal is great and vice versa, the tidal wave is inevitable.
Glansjerking
But it is not only the speed that can be varied. While one person really needs to be wanked tightly over the glans (i.e. the full length of the cock is rubbed), another may not have that at all. So you should try out different »stroke lengths« because you can easily shift down a gear (arousal) despite full speed (speed). You want to be able to do this especially when we talk later about deceleration techniques or when you want to come at the same time as someone who is not as ready as you are.
Milking
Instead of wanking towards the body, you wank away from the body. This is not very exciting at first, but it is worth doing because it has two advantages: Firstly, it takes longer for you to come this way. Secondly, if you combine this technique with the ring method in the backhand (see above), it helps the tail grow. More on this later.
Florentine
Pull the (pre)skin tightly back to the base of the penis so that your cock bulges a little more, but without hurting. This makes it a little harder. If the excitement is great enough, you will cum just by doing this – without rubbing. This technique was used by one of us at school before cum came. And it worked pretty fast. However, it requires patience and concentration – how good if you depend on your maths teacher.
A hint for social studies class: Florentine is often used by prostitutes to make the customers come faster. This grip also helps when fucking to let the cock be harder. This is sometimes very useful, especially with very tightly built gentlemen.
Glansgrinder
You could also call it the »fidget method« because if you pull back the skin »florentine« and then rub the super plump, glistening red glans with the palm of the other hand ü If you rub the super plump, glowing red glans with the palm of your other hand, if possible even using fabric or the soft side of a Velcro fastener, the »Uuuh« quickly turns into »UUUAAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGRRRRRRR«!
Massage Technique
For the massage grip, hold the tail with one hand at the base and place the other like a sleeve around the best part (fist grip). Then move forward along the shaft to above the glans, grasp the hand, stroke it with the palm of the hand, then grasp the cock in the backhand and slide down the other side of the shaft. Then do the same in reverse. If you’re not a pre-dropper, lube your cock with lube.
Through the pants
When one of us got circumcised, he wasn’t supposed to play with himself until everything was healed (that takes weeks!). But because he couldn’t keep it up, he stimulated his glans through the bandage, especially the particularly sensitive part between the urethra and the foreskin, the rest he kept completely still (he had to). Well, he almost shot a hole through the fabric. Of course, you don’t have to get circumcised for that. Arouse until the cucumber is standing, then tickle the cunt with your fingers until it squirts. Good technique for boring work sessions – because unobtrusive, apart from the primal screams and the epileptic twitches of your body.
Variation: stroke only the rim of the glans and avoid the head altogether. Last but not least, you can also do all this as an accompanying measure, so to speak, while jerking off with the help of another technique.
Brush technique
Or: Have you ever brushed the glans? No, not for the sake of the curly hair, but because of the sensations it gives off. The soft side of a Velcro fastener is good for this, but hard-core users can also use toothbrushes. It might be electrifying.
Earthquake
Grasp your cock with the ring handle, but do not rub up and down the shaft now, just move your wrist so that your cock swings back and forth as a result. Find the speed at which the greatest friction occurs. This requires a certain amount of tail length.
The deep hole
Put your »fist« on the glans and slowly slide it back along the shaft to the base. Meanwhile, place the other hand on the glans and slide it back along the shaft, then the first hand again and so on. Lubricant makes this technique more tolerable. Let’s see how long you can do it.
Mr. Spock
Lubricate your cock and balls with plenty of lube. Make sure your hand is slippery, especially the skin between your middle and ring finger. Shape your hand into a Vulcan salute, place your stiff cock between your middle and ring finger and off you go. If you now noodle your balls with your other hand, you will discover worlds that no human being has ever entered before.
The Grand old Duke of York
To do this you need a bathtub rim (unfortunately not accessible to everyone). Get on as if you were on a bicycle, put your tail on the edge and then sing loudly “Hoppe, hoppe, Reiter, wenn er spritzt, dann schreit er” (Hopp, hoppe, Reiter, when he splashes, he screams), so that the neighbours also get something out of it. More suitable for soft and shallow cock. It hurts thick, hard knuckles. If your belly is furry, the hair can get tangled under the foreskin. Lubricate your belly with lubricant to prevent it from getting tangled.
Handstand
Also nice: Do a handstand on a soft surface and support yourself against the wall. You might get quite dizzy or even black in the face during orgasm. So there shouldn’t be a glass table, no, there shouldn’t be anything in the way that you can hurt yourself when you slump down.
The fuckwit
There is no doubt that an orgasm feels very different when not only the hands are working, but the whole body (hip muscles) is used. Lubricate one hand, put a towel under it in bed, take a stiff cock in the lubricating hand, lie on it and hold on to the bed frame with the other hand. Then fuck your own hand.
Elbow
Lay your hard-on in the crook of your elbow, bend your arm so that your cock is nice and tight and off you go. If you do this standing up, you can save your arm muscles and use your whole body instead. You can also try it out with lubricant.
Screen wiper
Smear some lube on your belly, put your hard wiener on the belly and now rub it back and forth on it like a windshield wiper.
Scandinavian
Kneel down and then sit on a cushion to the right or left of your lower legs. If you now lubricate your thighs with glitter and bend your upper body forward, you can fuck your thighs with pleasure. Enjoyers wedge their balls between their upper and lower thighs so that they are simultaneously stretched with every up and down movement of the upper body.
Self-sucking
Of course, you can also put your cock in a good lubricated hand and pull it out. Depending on whether you keep your fingers relaxed or squeeze them together, it will feel like your mouth or ass is being fucked. At least like that. Well, actually not at all. But it’s still hot.
Bump
Place the palm of your hand on your glans and enclose your cock with your fingers; the thumb is on top, middle and ring finger on the bottom and one finger each to the right and left of the shaft. When you fuck your hand, you keep pushing on the palm of your hand. The glans will be stimulated and this will have a wet end in any case.
Dead man
Now you just have to learn how to noodle away without people around you noticing. Why? Because maybe you want to do it among people and you have realised that it is not much fun to go to jail for it. It is very simple. Stand in front of a mirror. If it shows your whole body, just cut off the lower part so that you only see your arm up to the elbow. And then try out those techniques in order that lead to the fastest or safest result for you. With your arm firmly in view, you gradually adjust the technique so that the movement of your forearm or hand cannot be seen. That’s it. Now you just have to learn how to come without howling like a wolf, rolling your eyes or fidgeting with your body like it’s plugged into a wall socket.
All you have to do is learn how to come without howling like a wolf, rolling your eyes or fidgeting with your body like it’s plugged into a wall socket.
Lubricant
Here’s a little story: Sebastian really wanted to get some hot wax dribbled on his balls. But because he was very afraid of it, Tom smeared his balls with oil to protect his skin. When he did this, strange sounds suddenly came out of his throat, the little crooked tail reared up wildly, and Sebastian’s gaze suddenly seemed strangely disconcerted. To cut a long story short, no one else had ever managed to jerk Sebastian off before – until this greasy moment.
For some techniques we have already written that they feel better with grease. But of course it doesn’t hurt to learn the difference between dry and wet wanking for all the other techniques and holds. But don’t be satisfied with the first bottle of olive oil that Aunt Erna brought back from her holiday in Greece, but also use fats (butter, margarine, Nivea …) and professional water-, oil- or silicone-based lubricants.
Greases feel warmer to the touch than water-based lubricants, which can be useful depending on the weather or where you are or your sex practice. Silicone-based lubricants leave a silky effect on the skin and don’t dry out for ages, which is great for fucking but a big disadvantage afterwards. Especially if you have a long way home. They also ruin bed linen or come off feet only with abrasive cleaners. It’s also good to get to know the properties of different lubes so you can pick the right one in close combat (impending fuck).
Materials for wanking basics
After you’ve tried lots of techniques, try them with rubber, leather and woollen gloves; it’ll feel like you’re doing it for the first time. Alternatively, you can put a sock over your ball man, a freezer bag or a large class! –: Bubble wrap (the stuff with the air bubbles that you wrap fragile objects in)! And that, too, feels different every time you lubricate these materials beforehand.
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