Jerking off at the office – Some days at work, everything just goes wrong. That cute colleague you’ve had your eye on for so long isn’t there. The boss is getting on your nerves and the work isn’t getting any less. No wonder you’re absolutely fed up and want to go home.
Did you know that many men in this kind of situation just want to relax? We don’t mean “get to work”, but rather unpack your cock and jerk off hard. Admittedly, this is not a good idea in an open-plan office. But we know the tips and tricks on how not to attract attention when wanking in the office.
You’re not the only wanker in the office
Where is that colleague from the other department during the lunch break? Does he really always have diarrhoea, or why is he constantly running to the loo? It doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with that. There have been studies in Switzerland that have shown that around 12% of men become wankers in the office. And where is the best place to shake your palm? In the office, of course.
It’s not romantic, of course, but nobody cares if you’re in the mood for a wank. After all, if you’re fucking the barman in the club toilet, you’re not handing out red roses in advance. And we all know one thing – wanking can lift your mood and is wonderfully helpful against stress.
Don’t get caught – discretion is important when wanking in the office
Feet on the table, cock out and jerk off. You shouldn’t make it that easy for yourself, especially if you don’t have a key to your office. If you get caught, it can get you into a lot of trouble. Sexual acts in front of third parties can lead to dismissal if they are not desired by both parties. So forget the big show in the open-plan office and find a quiet place that you can lock from the inside. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the loo, copy room or storage room, there should be a key.
Don’t wank while others are working
It has now become a trend not to defecate at home, but to deliberately wait until work starts. The reason for this is that paid pooing feels kind of cool for many blokes. So why not have a paid wank too? Be honest – how horny would you be if all your colleagues did that? You work and slave away while the other guy watches gay porn and scrubs his club.
Fairness comes first, so use your lunch break to relieve yourself. The team is all smokers, but you always stay at your desk and carry on working? Then there’s nothing to stop you using this time to take a quick trip to the loo.
Don’t leave a mess behind when you wank
Are men pigs? If we look at some public toilets, definitely. So that you don’t have to count yourself among this species, don’t throw your wank against the wall of the loo. Just put a few condoms in your desk drawer or blow your cock into your handkerchief. That way you won’t leave a sticky trail on the wall or on your glasses and your colleagues won’t find out what you’re up to.
Check your employment contract before you do it yourself
What do you mean? Wanking in the office isn’t in the contract, is it? In fact, there are employment contracts that exclude any form of sexuality in the workplace. Although this relates more to affairs between colleagues, it does include masturbation. If you are caught, the boss can give you an official warning. On the other hand, the question naturally arises – how are you supposed to get caught? If you scrub one off your palm in the loo, nobody will see it except you.
Four tips for a great wanking experience in the office
Are you on fire now and can’t wait for the next working day? Does the thought of a forbidden interlude in the office loo get your cock going? Then discover our four tips to make a hot fuck with yourself even hotter.
1. Anticipation is the greatest joy
How dirty and brave are you, really? Do you dare to stuff your arsehole with a butt plug during working hours and get yourself horny for the lunch break? Can you feel the pressure in your arse when you slowly rock back and forth on your chair? How horny does this extra kick make you?
2. Really find a quiet place
Nothing is more annoying than a colleague banging on the door in the middle of a hot wank and having to poo. Check out the possible places for office masturbation beforehand. Isn’t there a loo at the end of the corridor where nobody ever goes? Perhaps the cleaning room is also free and can be reliably locked from the inside.
3. Download your favourite porn to your mobile phone
Porn is the perfect way to get really turned on in the loo while wanking in the office. It’s annoying if you don’t have an internet connection. Never download sex films via the company Wi-Fi, it could be embarrassing. As a well-prepared man, simply download your favourite film at home and play it while you jerk off.
Caution: Turn the sound down or take headphones with you. It would be embarrassing if the moaning from your mobile phone could suddenly be heard all over the corridor.
4. Put on the right underwear
Stand in the cubicle with your trousers down and get to work. When you suddenly hear a knock, you start to feel hectic. There’s an easier way – with the right underwear. Wear a pair of briefs or shorts with an opening for your wank day at the office. The advantage is that all you have to do now is unzip your main trousers, and you can release your cock into the wild.
Conclusion: Wanking in the office is a great experience for real blokes
Your colleagues are sitting in the stuffy canteen waiting for their currywurst and chips. Sounds tempting? Not really! You’ve decided to take a break and butter your salmon in the loo. It takes a bit of courage to simply make it yourself at work. The smaller the company, the spicier it gets. If your loo is right next to the open-plan office, you should look for an alternative location. If you have the opportunity to retreat and are one of the more adventurous types, just give it a try. It’s not just the Swiss who can wank.
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