BDSM has become increasingly popular in bedrooms, especially since the sexy adventures of Mr. Grey. And among gay men, it has also become a fetish that is no longer swept under the carpet. On the contrary, those who embrace it can now fully explore it, both in the bedroom and in everyday life, as a BDSM slave or master.
BDSM encompasses various degrees of intensity. While some enjoy playing games with desire, others eagerly immerse themselves in the different roles of dominance and submission, finding much more than just sexual satisfaction. BDSM is not only about sex; it can also be a lifestyle that excites and fulfills you. If you are unsure about which role you want to take on, let us give you a taste of being a BDSM slave. What is important? What characterizes this role? Could this be the place for you in both play and seriousness? Let’s slip into this role for a moment …
A Brief Excursion into BDSM: The Fetish that Provides a Different Thrill
Fetishes have long been kept quiet, something not openly discussed. Fortunately, that has changed. Those who can embrace their fetishes experience more than just pleasurable climaxes.
BDSM can be your world of sexual diversity, fantasies, and role-playing. Perhaps you are the boss in everyday life, and you just want to let go and surrender control. Or maybe outside the bedroom, you are actually the submissive type, always eager to do as you’re told, and now you want to unleash your inner desires according to your own standards and fantasies.
BDSM combines power and submission in the form of a master and BDSM slave, pain and pleasure, as well as fantasy and lust. Sounds like a pretty hot combination, doesn’t it? And it is. The letters in the term have meaning:
- B – Bondage & Discipline
- D – Dominance & Submission
- S – Sadism
- M – Masochism
If you sometimes struggle to disconnect from daily life, BDSM might be particularly beneficial for you. You leave your everyday worries behind and slip into different roles. Playing with power dynamics, pain, pleasure, and passion opens up a world of adventure and broadens your sexual experiences. The BDSM culture is incredibly diverse and offers something for everyone. It’s not just about leather, latex, and whips, although they certainly have their place. Alongside the exciting sexual practices and the exploration of sexual boundaries, the psychological aspect plays a significant role – letting go, breaking free, revealing your innermost self…
In short, if you allow yourself to fully embrace it, BDSM can be a vast playground for your sexual experiences.
The Two Key Roles in BDSM: Slave & Master
When it comes to BDSM, power dynamics are often at the forefront. The roleplay typically takes place between two individuals: a dominant and a submissive – a master and a slave. To truly delve into these roles, one must be prepared to engage both mentally and physically.
Let’s take a closer look at each role:
- As a BDSM slave, you submit yourself to your master and allow yourself to be led. In a sexual sense, you are clearly the bottom and may be taken forcefully at times. Your body can become a sexual toy. In this role, you relinquish control and place yourself under the responsibility of your play partner.
- In the role of a master, you take charge, exert control over your BDSM slave, and call the shots. You are the top, directing the game, setting the rules, and defining the boundaries. In short, you hold the power.
So, where do you see yourself?
- Do you want to surrender, not think about what happens, and become a hot, willing slave?
- Or does it arouse you to exert control over your counterpart, to fulfill your fantasies according to your own rules, and dictate the course of events?
Do you want to tease – or be teased?
Regardless of which role you find yourself in during exciting fantasies, respect and trust towards each other are essential for both BDSM slaves and masters. Without these, the dynamic falls apart. As a slave, you must be able to trust that your master will always prioritize your well-being, despite their sexual desires and rules.
Your Role as a BDSM Slave – Surrender Control, Let Yourself Be Controlled
Do you yearn to relinquish control over your body and your will? Do you want to hand over your body to your master, allowing them to do as they please? Especially if you often hold the reins in your everyday life, this can be satisfying on multiple levels, extending beyond the sexual context and into your everyday existence.
Here’s a taste of what your role as a BDSM slave entails:
- As a slave, you submit yourself to the master.
- You surrender control over your will to them.
- However, this does not mean you are completely passive. On the contrary, as a BDSM slave, you face sexual challenges, fulfilling wishes and following orders from the master.
- You will be disciplined and trained by your master, in their own way.
- Of course, your partner may also treat you with tenderness and care if you are “good.”
- As a BDSM slave, you should be willing to explore your boundaries, push them within your limits, and fully surrender yourself to the other person.
- Even as a slave, you still have the right to say no and indicate your boundaries. However, you must have enough self-confidence to contradict your master in such situations. Only in those situations.
BDSM is a complex game of desire, control, and power. As a slave, you can experience a unique state – one that oscillates between arousing helplessness and intense fulfillment. Joy, pleasure, satisfaction, and pain come together, making this particular experience and the arousal and gratification it brings forth truly special.
The BDSM Slave Contract: Regulated Conditions between BDSM Dom and Slave
Did you know that in some BDSM relationships, there are contracts known as slave contracts? Bureaucracy in sex – a complete turn-off, you might think. But here, it’s a bit different, because the contract with the slave rules establishes principles and boundaries that the master must also adhere to within the sessions. The rules for slaves and masters in BDSM are an important tool for communication, boundaries, desires, and obligations. The contract essentially outlines what is allowed and what is not. This way, a safe space can be created for both the BDSM slave and the master, for sexual desires, the expression of power and submission, pain, discipline, and satisfaction.
What can the BDSM slave contract include? If you think of paragraphs or the like now, you are mistaken. It can be much simpler:
- Prohibited activities
- Duties (What must the slave do, what must the master do?)
- Responsibilities (Who is responsible for contraception, sessions, etc.?)
- Punishments or consequences for rule violations (How and with what can the BDSM slave be bound and disciplined?)
- Duration of sessions and the contract (Are there specific, predefined meetings? Does the contract apply for life or a specific period of time?)
- Taboos and boundaries
- Permitted practices
- Safewords and safe objects
- Confidentiality agreement
- Communication rules (How should the master be addressed?)
- Dress code (Must the BDSM slave walk on a leash and wear a collar? Must they also wear a collar outside of sessions?)
Making a contrac
The rules between BDSM slaves and masters are clearly defined in the contract. So, the contract serves as a kind of safeguard if you want to become a slave and engage in BDSM. If you only want to enjoy individual BDSM sessions, you don’t have to deal with such a contract. However, if BDSM is practiced outside of sex, there are regular sessions, etc., then such a contract is not only a safety net but also enhances the anticipation of what is to come. Just reading the lines about your discipline and your devoted life as a BDSM slave will make you feel an exciting tingling sensation and beads of sweat.
Important: The BDSM slave contract is not legally binding. It clarifies the dynamics of the relationship and aims to avoid misunderstandings. Morality and ethics are of paramount importance for both the master and the BDSM slave. By signing this contract, you demonstrate that you are ready for submission, sexual games, different power dynamics, and more.
Rules for Slaves in BDSM: Abstinence can be cruel, but also exciting
You have probably seen chastity belts, penis cages, and the like. They prevent the penis from being stimulated – neither by you nor by anyone else. What may sound like absolute torture can actually make you as a BDSM slave incredibly hot. Because abstinence is a form of punishment here. Your master can decide whether you will climax in a session or not – it’s not in your hands. This simple fact elevates sexual tension to unbelievable heights, plays with your desire, and further relinquishes control. How much are you willing to surrender?
This submission and exercise of power will occasionally make you desperate, but also intensify your desire. Of course, your master can also dictate how you can release your pent-up horniness as a reward…
Sex servant and house slave: Being a slave 24/7 or just during sex? – The different degrees:
As mentioned in a few places before, there are various ways to engage in BDSM. On the one hand, you can blur the boundaries between pleasure and pain with whippings and arousing torture in your playroom with your partner. On the other hand, you can also incorporate your power dynamics into everyday life, carrying over devotion and power as well as sexual play.
Some people live their role as a BDSM slave 24 hours a day, seven days a week. There is then a genuine relationship between slave and master. Others find this BDSM slave role too extreme and only transform into submissive during erotic play in the back room. How intensely you live out your role depends entirely on you and your partner. There is no right or wrong here – the important thing is that both parties agree. That is also why the slave contract is essential. Maybe you start small and explore submission. If you find it exciting and fulfilling, you can develop more with your partner.
Sub, slave, and SERF: BDSM terms and differences
There are now many different terms in BDSM, which can get confusing. Who is who? If you enjoy taking on the role of a submissive, horny sex slave who eagerly awaits punishment with a whip and a big dildo, you have probably come across the term “Sub” before. Here are the differences:
- A Sub is, to some extent, a preliminary stage to becoming a BDSM slave. They relinquish control but not completely. As a Sub, you still have a say. The Sub is not as extremely submissive, often offers resistance and receives punishment for it. The level of devotion is not as high.
- A slave, on the other hand, completely gives up control. They are submissive, usually do not challenge and are devoted to the master even outside the bedroom. Wearing a collar or tag signifies their belonging to their master. Additionally, the slave no longer has their own sexual will.
Of course, there are no clear boundaries here, and everyone defines these terms slightly differently. However, it is clear that the Sub is less submissive than the slave.
By the way, SERF is another term for “slave” that originates from the United States. It carries less historical relevance and is therefore preferred by some.
Are you a BDSM slave?
If you cannot definitively answer this question yet, take your time to slowly get to know BDSM practices. Of course, some people can immediately identify and embrace their submissive role. However, this is not a requirement. If you are initially a reluctant and defiant Sub, you can eventually become a dedicated slave. Try different things, get to know various masters and doms, and see BDSM as your own playground with slightly different rules.
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