There are of course many different relationship types among gay men who live together. Perhaps you have already been confronted with the prejudice that is often heard. Gay men are horny all the time and want to have sex often. But can’t enter into a real and, above all, long-term relationship. But gay life doesn’t just consist of a series of hot sex adventures with constantly changing partners to satisfy your lust. As exciting as that can be, it’s not everything.
4 relationship types among gay men
Maybe you want more than just sucking a bulging cock or being fucked by it on a regular basis? Do you also have the desire for a steady partner with whom you can spend your life and grow old? There are different relationship types among gay men, where you can get exactly the kind of relationship you want. We introduce you to four different relationship types among gay men.
Purely monogamous relationship among gays
This is, so to speak, the “classic” among the forms of relationship and is also socially regarded as the most respectable variant. If you have found love, and it is mutual, it usually ends in a monogamous gay relationship. Which means that you only focus on one person and only have sex with your partner. Other men are of no interest, no matter how horny they look and how big their cocks are. In a monogamous relationship, the two partners are enough for each other.
The big advantage of a monogamous gay relationship is that you don’t have to be so careful during sex. Because you’re only having sex within the context of your relationship, you don’t have to worry about condoms when you’re fucking. Because there is no health risk from sexually transmitted diseases, it doesn’t matter if you inject each other’s hot sperm deep into each other’s private parts. You can blow your cock to the point of creamy cum and send the warm love juice down your throats without a second thought.
In a monogamous relationship, you can let off steam as you please and be completely unprotected. Try out every conceivable sex variation, experiment with horny sex toys, perhaps live out common fetishes (how about role play, S&M or bondage?). Living monogamously, however, does not mean that you really have to experience everything together. Even in a relationship based on monogamy, each partner is allowed to have his own interests that the other partner may not share. So the term monogamous means that you have a relationship based on love with only one partner. And that your sexual activity only takes place as a couple.
Open monogamy: emotional exclusivity, but sex with others allowed
It happens again and again that two men fall in love and form a partnership. But at some point realise that sex as a couple is not enough for them. This can have many reasons. Maybe you are together with a partner who is much older and no longer as sexually active. Maybe you have different preferences (fetishes) or maybe you are both tops or bottoms. In these cases, you need to think about how you can each get what you want without having to end the relationship. The relationship form of open monogamy is a viable solution for many gays.
For example, if you are both passive or active, you could of course use dildos or similar toys to satisfy the other partner. But because that gets kind of boring over time, many couples simply look for a third party on a regular basis who can give them a good going over or whom they can fuck horny.
If gay men live in an openly monogamous relationship, then this is an emotionally exclusive relationship. But it leaves room for occasional sex with third parties. In order to protect your health, there should be some rules that you both abide by.
In an openly monogamous relationship, avoid exchanging body fluids, reserving unprotected sex for your partner. Passionate tongue kisses should remain exclusive to your relationship. Consensual sex with an outsider should be limited to three times. Protect the private areas of your relationship, avoiding them with non-relationship partners. Consider meeting in a hotel room or the third person’s place if they are single.
Open relationships among gay men
Another form of relationship are so-called open relationships. This means that there is not only occasional sex with external partners. Rather, both partners have parallel relationships alongside the basic partnership, sometimes even in threesomes.
Interestingly, many gay couples transition from absolute monogamy to open forms of relationships. This often occurs when both partners feel the need to revitalize their sex life. In an initially monogamous relationship, it may become apparent that certain sexual practices are not enjoyable or appealing to one partner. For example, they may not share the same enthusiasm for fisting or uninhibited sex fuelled by poppers. In such cases, exploring these practices with external sex partners can be a satisfying solution. Openness and honest communication are crucial for the success of this type of relationship, and it is important not to conform to others’ expectations or seek validation through pleasing others.
For a truly successful open relationship, absolute trust is necessary. From day one, you should be open and honest with each other about all relevant issues. It is crucial for the success of this relationship concept that you do not have to hide anything from your partner. This honesty practised by both sides may not always be easy, but it pays off. Where there is absolute openness in communication, there is room for one’s own sex desires, not only in terms of conversation. In an open relationship, whether it’s cock play, anal play or electro play, horny sex with outsiders is important. But the basis of the relationship remains the love between you and your life partner.
Polyamorous relationship: when a man loves a man, loves a man, loves a man
By a polyamorous gay relationship, experts mean a relationship between three or more people based on love. Here, the comparison with a multiple mother might be helpful. Such a mother loves all her children equally, but still in completely different ways. A polyamorous relationship works on the same principle. Just imagine that you love two or more men at the same time and live with them in a flat. You share the bed, the sex is extremely pleasurable. Because you don’t just have one partner at your disposal for blowing, fucking or whatever, but two.
In everyday life, which takes place in a flat for couples, even if there are three of them, can of course be challenging. But even in the polyamorous relationship, open communication is most important. If you don’t like something, it must and should be addressed. Clear rules and agreements are needed so that everyone in a polyamorous relationship gets their due. Receives sufficient attention and does not feel left out. Of course, this also applies to all activities around the topic of sex. It is often feared that there will be a prioritisation. That a partner might be more excited about fucking one partner than about fucking the other.
In order for your sex life to work in such a relationship, it is essential that you talk to each other to learn about each other’s preferences and no-go practices. Maybe one partner is into sexy fetish gear, the other is into getting fucked in a play room, and you love to be put in ties and then fisted. Sharing such preferences is essential for a lasting, satisfying sex life in a polyamorous relationship.
Challenge in every relationship: jealousy
In every relationship imaginable, whether monogamous or open, the biggest challenge is jealousy. If you have ever been in a relationship, you probably know this feeling. Above all, the fear of being abandoned and lonely is the cause of jealousy. The unpleasant idea that your partner has sex with another man and perhaps enjoys it more than with you can also cause jealousy.
Only open communication and a little self-reflection will help. If you feel jealousy spreading inside you, it is time to talk to your partner(s) about the topic. It doesn’t always have to be the goal to name the concrete reason. Often it is already enough to simply say that you have the feeling. Then you can discuss together what is good for you right now.
A second step is to do some research on yourself and find out what is causing the feeling. Is it a personal problem, or is there a problem in the relationship? Jealousy exists in a closed and open monogamous relationship as well as in open or polyamorous relationships, and it is important that it exists. Being jealous does not immediately mean that something is wrong in the relationship. The feeling can help you to recognise your own needs. If you know these, you will not only have an even better relationship, but also much hornier sex, because no disturbing feelings will slow you down on the way to orgasm.
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