Clichés have always existed, even when it comes to sex. During lovemaking and especially during anal sex, for example, people talk about top and bottom. First of all, it is important for you to know what a “bottom” describes. It is an attitude and not just a position or behaviour during anal sex. What you as a bottom should know and what you should pay attention to, you will learn in this article.
What is a bottom?
If you like to be tied up, to submit to someone or if, for example, when you fuck, you are more likely to be satisfied by a cock or dildo, then many people will simply impose on you the role of bottom.
When people talk about sex in terms of up and down, top and bottom, they are not only describing a sexual role. They also are assigning certain characteristics to the bottom that are visible in everyday life. According to the long outdated but still widespread opinion, you as a bottom are subliminally assigned the feminine role with all its characteristics (e.g. soft, sweet, passive) because you let yourself be fucked or fisted. If you like these attributions, you should not let them stop you from showing them. This is ultimately about your authenticity.
The two poles top and bottom, or “male” and “female” still serve as a category for a whole smorgasbord of characteristics that are attached to gender. Unfortunately, this also applies to sex between men, even though this is already beyond the classical norm. In this respect, it is good if you, as a bottom, develop your own description of what you want. Be it during sex or in your dealings with others.
The best thing is to try yourself out, take on the role of top. Be active in anal sex, just to see what this does to you. Many men who have found their role as bottom report problems because. They don’t know how to behave in a partnership when they suddenly have to leave their original role as bottom. They may enjoy actively spoiling their partner. But their world and self-image, often built up over many years, is shaken by the role reversal.
Being bottom does not mean being passive
To be honest, with some bottoms, you get the feeling that they define their role in sex primarily in terms of doing nothing. Simply lying down or squatting during anal sex, and then just letting themselves be turned on without lifting a finger themselves. Of course, this is not what is meant by bottom. Even as a bottom, you should be passionate and loving and express your feelings in an individual way. Even though, it can be very pleasant and relaxing to just let things happen.
As a bottom, for example, you need to communicate clearly what you like. And also what you don’t like about anal sex, a BDSM session or gangbang action. This is important because in these types of sex games, you take on a role where you have to be the bottom and leave certain decisions to the top. You should be very clear in advance about what your expectations are of the other person(s) involved. Ultimately, what matters is that you are stimulated during passive sex in a way that you can enjoy and that does not put you in danger.
How do I prepare myself for sex as a bottom?
It is important for you as a bottom to be hygienic, because cleanliness is a prerequisite for your sex partner(s) to find you attractive and appealing. In addition to well-groomed hair, a clean backside is especially important. Because as a bottom you have the passive role in anal sex. There are good products for anal hygiene. To make sure that the top rims your backside with passion and gets it on later (but of course always the way you like it), shaving your anus can’t hurt. Then you’ll be nice and smooth, you’ll feel the licking particularly intensely And your sex partner won’t have any pubic hair in their mouth.
According to the motto “it’s what’s on the inside that counts” it’s even more important that you ensure thorough internal cleaning when it comes to cleanliness. Using an anal shower can not only keep you clean, but can also be a nice prelude to stretching your sphincter muscles.
Stretching is essential for bottom preparation. Use a large dildo or plug to relax your sphincter muscles and build anticipation. Communication is key to ensure everyone’s enjoyment and respect limits. Get what you need as a bottom and create unforgettable experiences for both parties.
Where should you pay attention to safety as a bottom?
The whole answer here has to be health. BDSM in particular is often about humiliation and inflicting pain as punishment. For example, through the use of certain sex toys such as paddles, whips or sticks. Depending on your preference and the agreed intensity, this can lead to wounds that may even bleed. For this reason, you as a bottom should make sure that all toys are always clean and well cared for. Thorough cleaning with special sex toy cleaners should be a matter of course.
An essential area is health, especially in terms of the risk from sexually borne STIs. The risk for bottoms is much greater than for tops. Because as a bottom you present the mucus in your intestines on a silver platter, so to speak. Especially during anal intercourse. If you come into contact with sperm, blood or pathogens, the risk of infection is high. That’s why condoms are an indispensable means of self-protection for you as a bottom.
Where you can consider whether it makes sense not to use a condom is during sex in a committed, monogamous relationship. If your partner is using his best piece of ass exclusively to fuck you and if you both like to practice bareback anal sex, then you can do without a condom and your partner can also do without pulling his or her cock out of your bottom butt during climax. Then you will not only both feel a great naturalness, but you will also experience intensively how the love juice of your top pours into you.
Why should your boundaries as a bottom be respected?
Clearing boundaries that you, as a bottom, should not cross is one of the essential prerequisites for making sex between top and bottom truly exciting for both parties. For example, be clear if you like electronic toys and how they can best increase your horniness. Maybe your partner is into role-playing with matching clothes. So you can live out your fantasies together and both get your kicks.
What to avoid.
What you should avoid is ambiguity. Everyone involved in a sex session must know what is allowed and what is not allowed at all. Only when all ambiguities are out of the way can all sex games between top and bottom become an unforgettable event.
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